He takes me in his arms the second my fingers slide over his forearm. “Angel, you should never have had to go through this alone.”
I cup his cheeks between my palms and smile. “I’m not alone now.”
His hand slides down my arms to my hip and then back up to my stomach. He spreads one hand over my belly, the other trapping the back of my neck. “A baby. My baby.”
I nod, the sight of him going blurry through a new round of tears. My ears burn, and I try not to start blubbering all over again. “This is what I want. A family. With you. No more secrets between us, I promise.”
Reverently, he trails his hands up and wipes the wet from my cheeks. “No more secrets, Angel. On either side. If you ask me anything, I’ll tell you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it.”
I nod and push up to rest my forehead against his. God, he feels so good, so right in my arms. I’m finally home. “We’ll get through this.” Somehow, as I say the words, I believe them.
He wraps his arms around me and holds me closer, our bodies locked together. “I hate that we were apart. And that you felt like you couldn’t tell me the truth.”
I gulp, not wanting to go near any reminders of what I did to him all those years ago, even if I hadn’t known. We aren’t in the home stretch yet. As much as he wants to trust me, I know it’s going to take time. If we force it, things will only get worse. I need to show him I’m not going to leave him again. That I’m staying, no matter what.
His next words break my heart all over again.
“I wish we could go back to the way things were.”
I delve my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling the soft tendrils, memorizing how his muscles shift against me. There’s nothing to say to such a statement, and I don’t want to keep crying. So I remain silent, hoping he knows I wish the same thing.
I close my eyes and take another long inhale. If I could make this moment last forever, I would. Just holding him, the outside world can splinter and fall away. He’s the only thing I need.
“Angel,” he says again. This time, his voice holds a hint of smoke and ember. It takes only a second for my body to smolder under the heat of it.
No. Not like this…not until I’ve given him everything. Surrendered everything.
I pull away, and he eases his hands around my biceps. “There’s one more thing we need to talk about.”
His eyes narrow, darkening as his mouth flattens. “Oh?”
I quickly shake my head, pressing my palms flat against his suit front. “No, it’s not about me or even us. But it’s still something I know that you don’t, and I can’t let it sit inside me and fester. Or worse, you find out I’ve known all along and feel betrayed all over again.”
The suspicion doesn’t clear from his eyes, though, and that’s another gouge out of my heart. “What? If it’s not about us, then why do you look so scared?”
I gulp. “Rose. You know she was like a sister to me. I watched her get hurt, raped by Sal, used and brutalized over and over again. The entire time I tried to protect her and keep her safe. In the end, I wasn’t strong enough. Not even to save myself. I watched it all unfold, and I didn’t do enough. But I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”
His tone is clipped. “You’re starting to scare me, Angel. Just fucking tell me what it is.”
I shake my head. “No, I want to make another deal.”
The second the words are out, he drags me to my feet, almost picking me up off the ground completely. “If this is a deal, then I won’t be on my knees, and neither will you. Not unless you’re begging for something.”
I blink at the heat in his tone. Another wave of arousal pours through me. How can I get so turned on in mere seconds with just a few words from him? It seems impossible.
I clench my fists. No, I need to focus and get this all out so we can come up with a solution together.
“What are you proposing, Angel?” He leans in and presses his warm lips to my pulse point. Involuntarily, I wrap my hand around his neck and hold him there.
It takes me another minute to come to my senses. “If you keep doing that, I won’t be able to get this out.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t care, but I know damn well he does. I can’t let him distract us both.