“Archie,” she starts softly. I don’t think she knows that I don’t like anyone else calling me that, but I love it coming from her. “You can tell me anything.”
I look at her, and she gives me her soft smile. “I know I can,” I reply and sit up straighter. “So, the truth is, my feelings for you have been around for a while.” I pause and let that sink in, her mind surely going a million miles an hour. “Since high school, when we were little teenagers who thought we knew everything, I’ve been… infatuated with you.”
I try to take my words slow and watch her reaction. Right now, it’s shock mixed with confusion.
“When you cut off our friendship, I was devastated and didn’t know what to do about it. I tried to reach out to you, but you were stubborn, and I didn’t want to push. But the truth is that my feelings, they never went away.” I don’t take my eyes off of hers, even though hers are welling with tears that cut into my heart. “I’ve had these feelings for years and never knew what to do about them, or if I should do something about them. I watched from the sidelines while you dated other guys and thought, ‘well, one of those guys will stick and then my feelings will disappear.’ But that never happened.”
“Archer,” she whispers my name, but I’m not done.
I put a hand on her knee, needing some sort of contact because these next few words will quite literally make or break us.
“I couldn’t move on. I couldn’t date other women, couldn’t move past my feelings for you. When I stopped seeing you all the time when you dropped out of my life, I threw myself into school and work and I just… kept pushing. Day after day was the same damn struggle, just trying to move on, trying to get past these feelings but they wouldn’t let up.”
Her hand moves over her mouth, shock evident. I mean, she’s hearing that her brother’s best friend has been in love with her for the past fifteen years, so I don’t blame her for the shock.
“I couldn’t be with other women, Viv. I couldn’t do it. I tried… tried to move past this mental block in my mind, but I couldn’t.”
I let my words settle. Let the fact that I’m quite literally a thirty-year-old virgin sink into her brain.
The secret was out, and there was no going back.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I hate being vulnerable. What if people took my fear of clowns and left an IT cut out on my doorstep? Or worse, outside my window? I think about it a lot.” – Mike
VIVIANA
I didn’t know what to say to him. I was in complete shock.
Here I was, worried my feelings for him would be too strong and he would be running away screaming if I even hinted at the feelings of love or falling for him too quickly, and he just told me that his feelings had been plaguing him for the past decade or more.
And more than that… he was a virgin. Not because he wanted to be, but because he literally couldn’t be with anyone… but me?
I shake my head and stare at him. He was quiet, letting me absorb this new information and I can’t hold back anymore.
Words weren’t enough, I need action.
I crawl over to him before he can blink and straddle his lap gently. I want to throw myself onto him, but I also feel like I need to go slow. Like he also needs me to go slow. I want to make this whole night last.
I look into his eyes, vulnerability shining in them and I cup his face, leaning my forehead down to rest on his.
“You waited for me?” My words are a whisper but my voice still cracks as emotion threatens to drown me.
“I did,” he responds just as softly and it’s all I need before I press my lips to his, I sweep my tongue into his mouth and run my hands over his hair.
He moves his hands onto my hips and slides them under the back of my shirt, rubbing at my bare skin. It’s amazing how intimate that feeling is when it’s someone you’ve wanted to be with forever.
I’ve fantasized about Archer so many times in my life that having this actually happen in real life was surreal.
I take my lips from his, gulping in air, and move my lips over his scruffy jaw and down his neck. I unbutton the first few buttons on his shirt, wanting to feel him against me, skin to skin.
“Viv,” he murmurs, his head slightly leaning back as he pants hard. “Viv, can we go to your bedroom?”
“Is that what you want?” I wasn’t sure how fast he wanted to move, but I’ve been ready for more since I was eighteen—possibly even sooner.
“More than anything,” He rasps, his chest moving up in down fast. “Can we?”
I nod and start to climb off of his lap, but he leans forward and puts his shoulder into my stomach before lifting me and starting to move toward my room. I laugh loudly at the sudden motion.