“I was quiet but I was not blind.”
-Jane Austen
Jane
“Hey, it’s just me, obviously. Look, I’m sorry for canceling tonight. I’m really not doing this on purpose, but I need to make an appearance here and then I’ll head that way, okay?” I hesitate on the voice mail, hating that he’s not answering me. “I love you, Warren. Bye.”
I hang up my phone and stick it into my clutch before hurrying up the steps of the country club. I completely forgot that we were celebrating Sarah Ivers’s engagement tonight. Sarah was the daughter of a couple that had always been in the same circles as my mother and knew the same people. We went to the same prep school and same camps.
It was a stupid requirement that I would attend the engagement party that they held for her. I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to be curled up with Warren on my couch—on what I wanted to beourcouch—reading or watching TV or… other things.
I smile politely at the people I pass by and then frown when I don’t see my mother. I’ve wanted to talk to her since our chat the other day but… I haven’t known what to say. In all my life, I never knew my mother had loved someone. Had lost someone.
But now that I knew, I thought I could get her to see my side of things. If she could see that she was pushing me away from having that life she wanted, having the kids and the loving partner, maybe she would get over this fetish with Jasper.
I turn a corner and don’t see her, but I do see the bar. I march up to it and order a Manhattan, I still wouldn’t drink wine—gross—and have made it a priority to not drink it at social gatherings just because others did. It was a little, tiny middle finger to what I was “supposed” to do.
As I take my first sip, I spy my mother, and lo and behold, she’s talking with the Pierces. Since I’d rather do just about anything other than talk with them, I find Sarah and catch up, congratulating her on her engagement. We spend several minutes chatting when her parents join our circle.
I’ve known the Ivers my entire life, Sarah and I went to the same school and even though she was a grade below me, we were still good friends. I’d had sleepovers at Sarah’s house in elementary school and always loved them because her dad, William Ivers, always made us massive breakfasts every time.
“I heard you were also engaged!” she exclaims and grasps my hand, the one not clutching the alcohol so tight the glass might break.
“Oh, that was—”
“Great news! Right?” my mother’s voice interrupts, and I scoff at her audacity.
“It was not—”
“Best day of my life.” An arm snakes around my waist and I bristle, stepping away from Jasper’s grasp. I look between him and my mother, feelings of betrayal coursing through me.
“I’m sorry,” I say to Sarah, a polite smile on my face. No reason to ruin her day by making a scene—at least not in public. But I would absolutely be making one. “Can you excuse us?” I eye my mother. “Allof us.”
My mother eyes the Ivers and gives a forced, polite smile and follows me. I assume, Jasper behind her. When we reach a private corner, I whirl on them both. “This isenough. I’ve had it with you two.” I point at Jasper. “You. I’m not marrying you. I don’t care what our parents say, I don’t care what your reasons are, but I am not going to do it. So get it through your thick skull. And you,” I turn to my mother and throw my hands to the side, conscious of the drink still in my hand. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you would do this to me, over andoveragain. I love Warren.” I lay my hand on my heart and plead with her. “I love him more than I’ve ever loved anything. And I love you,” I say, taking a deep breath. “But I can’t keep doing this with you.”
“I—”
“No,” I interrupt. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this is not the way to get what you want.”
“Jane—”
“There’s the happy couple!” Jasper’s father marches over to us and throws his hands out wide, a broad smile on his face. “Why are you all over here?”
My mother looks at me then and I freeze. My thoughts, my actions, they freeze when I see my mother’s panicked look. One I’ve never seen on her face before.
I don’t know what put that panicked look on her face, but I was going to find out.
“Dad,” Jasper replies and scoots closer to me, my first instinct is to move away, but I just tense, my eyes still on my mother. “We were just discussing the future.”
“Ah.” He nods and looks at my mother, a smug, cocky look displayed on his face. “A bright one it will be.”
She barely nods and then moves away from the group. “I think we could all use a little more to drink, huh?”
Jasper and his dad nod and follow her, leaving me in the back. I frown at my mother’s back and steel my spine. Something is up and I’m going to figure out what it is.
My mother has secrets, has had secrets for a while it seems, but it’s time she spills everything.
“Everything okay?” Molly’s voice pulls me back to the present. I glance around at everyone who’s seated, eating pancakes to their hearts’ content and I smile.