“Go and check now,” he said in a firm voice. “I will wait for you here.”
She took another deep breath, then ran up the stairs to the room she was sharing with Sister Mary Majella. Desperately, she ran around the room, finding the discarded brown dress. Then she spotted it. It was folded neatly at the end of the bed where she had left it.
She grabbed it, checking the pockets. Her hand closed around the bag. She slumped against the wall, sliding down it to the floor. Her heart was thumping so hard that it sounded like a drum in her ears.
She was saved. The bag was not lost.
She started weeping then. It was delayed shock as well as relief. She had felt her whole world imploding in that brief time downstairs when she thought she had lost it. Her future seemed lost forever. For how could she have survived even a little while without any money at all?
She had no guarantee she would get work straight away. And there was alotof money in that bag. It was enough to give her breathing space once she got to Bradford—enough that she didn’t have to work for a while and so she could consider her options.
She sobbed, clutching the bag. She didn’t know how to live this life. She wasn’t capable of doing it. Any confidence she had once possessed that she could do this started ebbing away like sand through an hourglass.
She had been a fool. There was simply no way she could pull this off. She wouldn’t survive a day on the mean streets of Bradford. Already, she felt out of her depth. The other passengers on the coach all knew she wasn’t like them. The people on the streets of Bradford would smell it on her. She would be taken advantage of. She would not be able to endure it.
She needed to go home.
Chapter 17
Delia pulled on Minnie’s threadbare coat, hastily wiping the tears from her cheeks. She had secured the bag of coins in the trunk, making sure it was locked. She slipped out of the room, stepping out the back of the inn, into the cold night air.
She needed to be alone and think. And she couldn’t do that with Sister Mary Majella about to return to that room. It was so cold that her breath fogged as she exhaled. It was a bitter, mind-numbing cold that Minnie’s coat was powerless against.
She kept walking, heading towards the only light near the stables. She heard the snort and whinny of horses. She blinked back the tears again. She loved horses and always spent time at the stables at Twickenham Hall, even though she wasn’t a particularly strong rider. It would be nice to say hello to them. Somehow, it would be comforting.
A black horse had its nose over the pen gate, staring at her with soulful brown eyes. Her heart melted. She walked up to it, speaking in a soft tone, nonsense words spilling out of her mouth. Gently she caressed the velvety nose. The horse seemed to sense her distress, nudging its nose against her.
“I am alone, my friend,” she whispered, choking back tears again. “I am all alone. What am I to do?”
The horse kept staring at her. She sighed, caressing it gently, wishing it could speak to her. Wishing it could tell her what she needed to do. Should she continue on this trip, or should she try to get a coach heading back south? Should she just go home with her tail between her legs and accept her punishment?
Her blood ran cold as she contemplated it. Papa would be furious with her, never trusting her again. She would still have to marry Lord Stanton. Her situation there was terrible. But was it better than trying to pretend she was someone she wasn’t, desperately trying to survive in a harsh world when she was surely destined to fail?
“There you are,” said a voice behind her. “I was wondering where you had vanished to.”
She spun around. Mr Hartfield was standing there watching her intently. She took a deep breath.
“I am so very sorry,” she said in a quiet voice. “I just needed some time alone. I was going to come back into the inn and tell you soon.” She took another deep breath. “I found the bag. It was in the pocket of the gown I was previously wearing.”
He smiled slightly. “Well, that is very good news,” he said. He kept gazing at her. “You should be happy. Yet you seem sad.”
She sighed. “It was the shock of it,” she said in a strangled voice. “It was quite devastating. And now…now, I am wondering whether I should just discard this trip and return home. It all seems so very hard, Mr Hartfield.”
She wished she could tell him the truth. She wished she could confide everything to him. He had no idea how hard this trip was for her, for a multitude of reasons. But how would he react if he suddenly learned the truth about her?
He may help me, she thought.He could give me advice as to what I should do.
her mind, she dismissed it. She had already lied to him about who she was. He would be shocked at her duplicity and assume she was not trustworthy. And in addition to all of that, she didn’t know what he would do with the truth. Would he insist that she return home? Would he pressure her to do so, taking away the small amount of gumption she still possessed about following this through?
She took a deep breath. She couldn’t risk it.
“You have had a shock,” he said slowly, taking another step closer to her. “You thought you had lost your bag, and it is natural to lose confidence. But all is well now, Miss Parker. You just need to be more careful with it in the future and make sure it is secure at all times.”
“Yes,” she said, taking another deep breath. “I was careless. It will not happen again.”
His dark eyes flickered. “You should be very careful with it. Not just against loss, but theft.” He paused. “Pickpockets abound in Bradford, and I am sure there are many people in these roadside inns who might rob you if they saw the opportunity. You need to be always on guard.”
Delia’s heart sank. She hadn’t realised how wary she must be in this world.