A hint of the old Mom comes through, the toughness which would sometimes appear before the pills, and the sadness took hold. “Of course I do. But I haven’t seen it, have I? I’m sorry, Ruby, but what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. I won’t...no, and I’m sorry everybody, I am, but I won’t believe this.Hetried to make me believe and....”
She shudders, and I stand, a reflex, walk around the table and lean down to hug her.
She turns to me, clutching on. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Ilsa,” Ramsey says. “It’s a lot to take in. It always is, for everybody.”
He’s looking at me as if to say,But not for you. You accepted it right away.
“What?” I snap, suddenly losing my cool. “It’s notthatsurprising. I was raised in a psycho cult where they told us demons were real, physical things, and they’d sneak into our rooms and kill us if we ever….”
Had impure thoughts.
I shiver at the memory.
“If we didn’t do what Master Pete wanted.”
“Master Pete?” Ramsey says.
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, I know what it’s like to switch quickly from one...from one freaking reality to the other, okay!”
Ramsey smirks, but his eyes tell a different story.
They’re blazing red. They’re burning like he wants to consume me.
“Oh, my,” Mom says when she notices it. “How are you...?”
“It’s part of being a wolf,” Liam says. “We have to maintain control, always. When a wolf starts losing control of that fire, that beast inside, sometimes our eyes glow. We can’t help it.”
I look at Ramsey again. His face is turned away.
Was he angry with me, then? Why was he staring like that?
The moment passes when Mom abruptly stands, hands on her hips. “I just don’t think any of this...It’s not...I don’t....”
“Would it help if you saw?” Liam asks, looking at her steadily.
“What?” Mom says, some snappiness in her voice. “You’re going tobecomea wolf, are you?”
“I’d rather not destroy these fine clothes.”
Liam grins, and Ramsey chuckles, and then I laugh, mostly because it’s so sweet to hear it from Ramsey.
Liam stands and rolls up his sleeve.
“It takes years of training to master the wolf instinct. For most, it’s better to only ever remain in the human state. For some, it’s better to bejust the humanorjust the wolf. Never exist in-between. There’s a rare few – and Ramsey is one of them – who have mastered their wolf instincts to the point where they can....”
He trails off, wincing, as his fingers make acracknoise. It looks like his bones are writhing under his skin.
I look away, wincing, thenforcemyself to look back.
If I’m going to be a nurse one day, if I’m going to help people, I can’t allow myself to look away.
Mom winces and huddles close to me, putting her head on my shoulder.
But I keep staring.
His bones crack and shift, then, maybe two minutes later, he has a giant heaving paw. It’s the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen, his human wrist going to the paw. He cradles it with his other hand.