Chapter Eight
Melissa
By some miracle, the show is ready.
Backstage, I’m transformed back into an actor, no longer the director, stage manager, and set designer.
I get to do what I came for and that means the world to me.
I won’t lie.
This week my heart has felt like a deflated balloon.
But every time I get sad about Blaze, I remind myself that I am so much more than one guy. Even though I would love to have him here tonight, watching me do my favorite thing in the world, I am okay just being here by myself.
I can lose myself in the role.
And that’s an amazing feeling.
Makeup done.
Costume on.
Waiting in wings.
I am ready for my entrance.
I wait for my line and I float out onto the stage, standing in front of the beautiful backdrop that he and I created.
I sink into character, feeling amazing with the lights touching my face.
I was born to do this.
When I deliver my lines, I gaze out into the sea of audience faces.
I look at no one in particular.
I just wantthemto see me.
But, I can’t help what my eyes catch.
And there’s no mistaking that face.
Blaze is here.
I take a deep breath.
I will not let him ruin my performance.
I don’t know what game he’s playing, but I will not join.
* * *
When the show is over, I take my bow onstage to thunderous applause.
Blaze is still here, but I do not give him my energy. Instead, I focus on an amazing first performance. I did this.
Not just my performance, but all of it.