My stomach churned, memories of the rogue golem resurfacing in my mind. I took a step back, shaking my head. “I can’t—”
Cassie’s face crumbled. “But, Kaleah—”
I snatched up the sheathed knife, my heart beating fast. “Have you forgotten that the first time I carved symbols into an object, it nearly killed Ryker and me. I’m not about to mess with something neither of us understand, especially something as unnecessary as a meaningless ceremony—”
“It’s not meaningless to me!”
I stepped back, knocking into Arrow and pressing my back against Ryker’s leg.
I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t put my sister’s life in danger, no matter what she wanted. “Why do you even want to be bonded?” I whispered, glancing between Cassie and Alex, who’d come to stand beside her. “You’re already together in every other way possible—it’s not uncommon for couples to never be bonded.”
“I thought you would understand.” Cassie rubbed at her eyes and I winced.
“Can I talk to you?” Alex asked, nodding to a group of trees a few paces away.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I nodded. Alex murmured something to Cassie, and walked her to the edge of the clearing. She sat at the base of one of the trees and the two exchanged whispered words as she fiddled with the goblets. She nodded, and he kissed her forehead, then motioned for me to follow him into the forest.
“Will you watch my sister, please?” I turned back to Ryker and he ducked his head, concern dancing in his eyes. “Thank you.” I passed him the dagger and followed after Alex.
Slipping between the white trunks, I took several deep breaths of the crisp air to ground myself and prepared for the lecture I could only assume was coming. As I wove through the forest, some of the tension eased from my chest, and by the time I’d caught up to Alex, I was able to breathe again.
“Leah.” Alex stood at the base of a large tree, his arms crossed. His emerald eyes searched mine, lines forming at the corners. “Do you resent me—”
“What—no!”
Alex’s shoulders slumped, and he exhaled with a nervous chuckle. “Well, that’s a relief.”
Confused, I crossed the clearing, stopping in front of him. “Alex, I know you love my sister and she loves you. Why in Lucifer's name would I resent you?”
He shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was worried you don’t want to go through with the bonding ceremony because you don’t want her to be with me.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? That’s the best you could come up with? Who my sister chooses to be with is up to her, and I already told you—”
“Leah, I know.” Alex reached out, gripping my hands in his and searching my gaze. “I just. . . I don’t feel like I’ll ever be good enough for your sister, and now that she’s pregnant, I don’t. . .” He bit his lip, looking down.
A smile pulled at my face. “Alex, you’re going to be a great dad. You’re already a great partner to Cassie; you always have been. Being bonded isn’t going to change that.”
Alex dropped my hands with an exhale and started pacing. “But this is a dream Cassie’s always wanted, and I want to make it a reality for her.”
Great, back to the prospect of me carving runes into my sister. “I would if I could, Alex, I just don’t trust myself—”
“But Cassie does.Shetrusts you.” He stopped, his eyes pleading.
My breath hitched, and I raked my hands through my hair, wishing they could both understand my reasoning. Why must they be so adamant about being bonded? “It’s not just her I’m worried about. What about your child?”
Alex watched me for a long moment. “It’s partly for them that we want to do this Kaleah. I know you mentioned there are those who are together who never bond, but those of royal birth almost always are bonded. Your mother may not acknowledge it, but your sisterisa princess. She’s been dreaming of this her entire life. Even if we never return to the capital, royal blood runs through the veins of our heir. It may just be a foolish ceremony in your eyes, but our child deserves the strength and power inherited from a blood bonded couple. That’s why Cassie doesn’t want to wait until after they’re born. Then it’ll be too late.”
I bit down on my trembling lip and swallowed hard. He was right. In my mind, the blood bonding ceremony had become nothing more than a part of the act I’d once been expected to play. I hadn’t considered the reasoning or benefits behind it. Bonding used divine runes to mingle the blood of two people and knit their souls and their beings as one. If performed correctly, the bond could unite and strengthen both participants, as well as their future offspring. But it didn’t come without its risks. In rare instances, if the bonded pair were separated for some reason, be it death, abandonment or something else, the loss of their other half could break the couple's minds and either drive them insane like it had with my father, or kill them. I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself.
“If this is so important to the two of you, why didn’t you wait until after you were bonded?”
Alex grimaced, a red hue coloring his cheeks. “We didn’t exactly plan on getting pregnant. . .”
Oh. I rubbed the back of my neck, losing a heavy sigh as my resolve weakened. “And you're sure the reward outweighs the risk?”
Alex dipped his chin, offering me an encouraging smile. “I assure you, Cassie and I have talked over the details of our bonding quite thoroughly.”
I chuckled weakly. Of course they had. This had been one of Cassie’s dreams since we were children, I’d just never pictured me being the one to initiate it. Taking a shaky breath, I lifted my head and squared my shoulders. Cassie and Alex had always done so much for me, this was the least I could do in return. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.”