“No?” the empress challenged with a sneer. “Well then, maybe Ryker will. We are paying him enough—”
“I doubt it,” I bluffed. “He’s too scared to even touch me. Maybe he’ll feel differently after your bonding night.”
“Few can resist the wiles of a goddess, much less one with a pretty face.” She smiled, grabbing my chin and forcing me to meet her calculating gaze. I shivered as the cold leached into me from the damp towel I was dressed in. “Besides, I might choose one of Cassie’s children as my next heir, and then I wouldn’t even need to concern myself with your Outlander intended.”
Cassie’s nails bit into my arm, but she didn’t comment, and I didn’t react. She would never agree to that. As much as she hatedmebeing heir, I could only imagine how she felt about her future baby being taken from her in the same manner. My heart clenched as I passed a sidelong glance at my sister and found fury hidden in her downcast eyes.
Was I being selfish? By not agreeing to be with Ryker, I put her happiness in jeopardy as well as the life and happiness of her child. . . but if it wasn’t hers, then it would be mine. I was willing to pay the price, to sustain my goddess' life on our earth, but who was I to force that fate on another?
Pulling away from my mother, another question flared in my mind. “If you chose Cassie’s future child, doesn’t that defeat the point of being bonded to Ryker?”
“I’ll deal with that crossroad if and when I reach it—it wouldn’t be the least bit unfeasible that he might have some horrible and tragic accident.” A cruel smile curled her lips, and my heart dropped at the thought of Ryker being in potential danger.
“The peace won’t hold if you hurt him—”
“Whoever mentioned anything about hurting him?” Lilitha snapped, making me flinch.
Biting back my response, I gave a curt nod, struggling to remain standing as the exhaustion wore on me. Too tired to argue further, I snatched up Cassie's hand, and in nothing more than my towel, marched out the door.
18
Old Scars and New Wounds
Tarrastumbledtowardmethrough the darkness, bloody tears streamed down her face. “Why?” she moaned. “Why did you let him kill me?”
“I-I’m sorry.” I sobbed, scrambling backward, but there was nowhere to escape in the surrounding blackness. Howls, wailing and screams rent the air.
“Why?” Tarra drew closer, still crying.
I continued to back up until I smacked into something. Gnarled hands reached from behind me, gripping my arms. I screamed and ripped away as a harsh laugh echoed from the darkness. I spun. Granny Fontaine stared down through a blood red eye, her hands stretching toward my throat.
“Demon spawn,” she hissed, as the point of a sword appeared through my chest, the taste of blood filling my mouth. Tarra’s laughter rang in my ears, and fire engulfed me.
I startled awake, scrabbling at my chest and breathing hard. Early morning light filtered through the curtained windows, and I sat up, pulling at my white shift and inspecting myself. No sword protruded from my sternum, and the only pain plaguing me was the pain in my heart.Demon spawn. What had the assassin even meant by that?
Taking a deep breath, I collapsed back on the pillows being careful not to wake Cassie. Curled at my side beneath the silk sheets, she looked so calm and peaceful, her golden hair framing her beautiful face—birthmarks and all. She hadn’t left me since the incident the day before. Still shaking, I scanned my surroundings. Across the room, Alex’s lean form was sprawled across Cassie’s bed, his chest rising and falling in the gentle confines of sleep—he also had refused to leave my sister and I, even with the added guards and golems stationed outside our door.
Somewhat calmed, I glanced to the divan that had been added to our accommodations against the far wall. Surprise and heat sifted within me as I met the concerned gold eyes staring at me—apparently not everyone had slept through my undignified reentry to the waking world. I wasn’t sure why exactly he’d come—if it had been of his own volition, or because my mother had commanded him to after I’d refused to accept her demands and stay in his rooms. My insides churned.
Are you all right?Ryker signed from where he sat on the edge of the couch in a loose cotton shirt and pants. I held his gaze a moment longer—still no closer to figuring out who he was or what he truly desired. Nor was I any closer to knowing what I wanted on that front, either. I shook my head. I would never be all right again. Tarra’s blood may have been cleansed from my skin and clothes, but it would never be cleansed from my soul. She was dead because of me.
Needing a distraction, I untangled myself from the sheets and slipped across the room into the closet where I changed into my pants and tunic. Judex and Rocky followed me out the back door and into the garden, and I tried to ignore the empty space where Clay should have been. The crisp morning air wrapped around me, its embrace filling my lungs and cleansing my soul. I stretched my arms over my head, enjoying the gentle pull on my muscles. I went to work my legs next, but the crunch of footsteps sounded behind me, and I spun around.
Ryker stood just outside the door, arms crossed as he considered me.So much for being alone. I started to glare, but he signed something with one hand that I didn’t quite catch, then moved across the garden toward the oak tree. Taking a seat in the grass, he folded his arms and leaned back, closing his eyes.
Was I supposed to believe he was sleeping? Turning my back to him again, I finished stretching out my leg muscles. I relaxed as the sun rose higher in the sky, warming the fall air and awakening the birds from their slumber. It was surreal how life continued to happen, regardless of the fact that it had ended for others.
I slammed the door on my thoughts and shot forward, letting my mind go blank. Greenery and flowers flashed in my vision, the sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees growing along the garden wall, dappling everything with pinpoints of light. The surrounding scenery became a kaleidoscope of colors as I increased my speed, and the soft ground shifted under my feet as I fell into a familiar rhythm.
I completed one circuit after another, continuing to ignore my audience. By the time I passed Ryker and my golems for the third time, my clothes were sticking to me, sweat trickling down my skin. I pressed on, enjoying the burn in my legs and lungs.
“Wait!” Cassie called, and I skidded to a halt, breathing hard. My sister jogged down the trail, frantically waving her arms. Fear gripped me, and I lunged toward her, pelting back down the dirt path. “Are you okay?” I gasped, meeting her halfway as I struggled to control my racing heart.
“Of course, silly.” Cassie laughed. “I just wanted to join you for a little morning jaunt.”
Was running safe for her? My eyes started sliding downward, and I forced them to stop. “Okay, but we’ll have to keep it to a slow jog. I’m exhausted,” I lied.
“That’s fine, as long as I get to spend time with you, since—” she cut off, the unspoken words obvious. Since we didn’t have much time left.