“Not yet you aren’t. Tell me, what are some ideals you’d want if you could create the perfect man?”
Cassie laughed, and I glared.
Fontaine raised her wiry eyebrows. “I know you have some—every girl does.” I glanced down at my knotted fingers. Why was I talking to this crazy old lady about my non-existent love life? “Don’t want to go first, eh?” She chuckled. “Alright, we already know what Cassie’s perfect man is—”
“But of course.” Cassie winked. “Alexisexceptionally close to perfect. Tall, gorgeous, ripped, with dreamy eyes you can just get lost in. Mmm.”
I fought back a grin, and Tarra gagged.
“I’m surprised he didn’t turn out more girly.” Tarra snickered, making Cassie scowl. “I mean, hewasthe only boy in a monastery full of girls. You’re lucky he didn’t turn into one.”
“Hmph.” Cassie scoffed, flicking a flower at Tarra’s back. “Alex is more manly than half the men I’ve met in my life.”
“Like that’s very many—”
“Enough, girls,” Granny Fontaine interrupted. “Tarra, your turn.”
“Me?” she squeaked, turning from the bowl toward her mentor. Blonde curls frizzed around her face, and she wiped a sticky hand over her forehead, pushing it back. Her blue eyes flicked to me and then away just as quickly. “Well, I suppose I’d want him to be kind, and generous, strong but gentle. . . and it wouldn’t hurt if he had golden curls and eyes the color of honey.” A shy smile lit her face as she stared into the mixing bowl and it finally dawned on me. She wasn’t listing things out of her head, but describing someone she already knew—she had a crush. Tarra was almost a whole year younger than me, and she already knew more about love than I probably ever would.
“Now who’s getting all doe-eyed?” Cassie teased. Tarra’s nose wrinkled as she scowled.
Granny Fontaine moved her attention back to me, and my heart fell. “Alright, now it’s your turn.”
I bunched my skirt in my hands. “I don’t know,” I whispered, shame gripping me. “I’ve always known that I would never have any say in who I ended up with—who I loved. What was the point of dreaming of someone I could never have? You say that every girl has ideals. . . I don’t.” I lifted my head and found both Tarra and Fontaine looking at me with pity, while Cassie’s eyes only held anger. “Please don’t look at me like that.” I turned away. “I knew what becoming heir entailed, and it’s okay—I’m just not ready to dieyet.”
Fontaine cleared her throat, and Tarra went back to mixing her concoction.
“I know you don’t like Ryker,” Fontaine said, standing and hobbling to my side. She rested her withered fingers on my arm. “But try to look for his strengths and ignore his flaws—”
“What if all he has are flaws—ouch!”
Fontaine rapped me with her knuckles, and heaved a sigh. “You’re not doing yourself any favors, child. Everyone has strengths; now try and list a few of Ryker’s.”
I sighed, wracking my brain and spitting out the first answer that crossed my mind. “Well, he is quite exotic looking—”
“Ah, so youareattracted to him.” Fontaine flashed her grizzled smile while Cassie and Tarra smothered their giggles.
My face erupted in heat. “What—no—”
“I said attracted, not in love.” Fontaine rolled her eye. “Well, at least you're not completely hopeless; I was starting to wonder if you were even capable of love.”
“Of course I am,” I shot back, but my shoulders slumped at the truth. “I just have absolutely no experience with the romantic side of it.”
“You don’t need experience, child, you just need to try. If you play your cards right, he won’t even know he’s falling in love with you until it’s too late.”
“I’ve got it!” Cassie pushed off the wall and skipped to my side. “You just have to pretend he’s me!”
“Um, what? Like a brother—”
“No, silly. Look, I know you think Ryker tried to kill you and still wants you dead—just pretend that it was his evil twin trying to kill you—not him,” Cassie explained, her wide eyes sparkling.
Pretend he wasn’t him? My stomach twisted into knots. Would that help? I glanced back at my sister as she placed her finished crown of dried flowers on my head.
“Who knows, maybe you’ll actually fall in love with him.”
I scowled. “That’s very doubtful.” Then again, there was only one way to find out.
10