“You alright there, man?”
He scoffs, but true to his good nature, he grins and pulls his feet up to rest on the back of the couch. “Yeah, I’m good. The end is near and finally this case is almost over.”
He uses the neck of the bottle to point at me. “After this, I’m going on vacation.”
A chuckle escapes, despite my better judgment because damn I feel the same type of way.
* * *
“I’m good, Noah.”
There’s an edge to Ria’s voice, probably because I’ve already asked her if she was okay at least five times since I started getting ready.
I’m holding Adrian, who’s seconds from dozing off, but my eyes are stuck on my wife who does not look okay, despite her insistence.
Her eyes keep darting to the door and then back to the briefcase I’m bringing to the courthouse and then to our son resting on my chest.
Clutching Adrian closer to my chest, I quietly remove his stuffed duck from his crib and chuck it on the bed. I carefully set him down, patting around to ensure he won’t roll over and accidentally suffocate on anything.
With one last graze of my thumb across his soft baby cheek, I sigh in defeat, knowing there isn’t much I can do to alleviate the anxiety my wife is feeling.
I know her better than I know myself and right now it’s setting her on edge that I have to leave. Adrian was feeling it a bit earlier, clinging to me and getting fussy when I set him down. He cried the whole time I was taking a shower and only calmed down when I picked him back up.
I don’t want to leave them either. This will be the first time we’re going to be apart since the cabin, but I have to go. This is the last time I’m doing this.
I’ve already informed the bureau of my decision to leave after the case is wrapped up. I have a few offers floating around that won’t involve field work, but I told them I needed time to be with my family before accepting a position.
Rubbing a tired hand down my face, I turn back to my wife.
She’s perched on the edge of the bed, her eyes trained on our sleeping son.
“Ria?”
Her eyes flutter shut at the sound of her name and the hairs on the back of my neck stand. Ria pinches her mouth, her hands curling around the comforter on either side of her lap. Her chest rises and falls but her breaths come out unsteady and uneven.
Three steps are all it takes for me to be down on my knees in front of her, my palms on top of her hands as I squeeze them in reassurance.
I’m here.
Ria opens her eyes, and, in that moment, I see it. Not just the fear or the panic but the love she tries to hide from me. She’s looking at me in the same way she used to look at me.
I dream about this Ria constantly. Every day, I hope to catch a glimpse of her to tide me over.
“Noah, I’m scared.”
I nod.
I know.
“It will all be over soon, baby. Just hang in there a little longer, okay? I’m here. You’re not alone in any of this.”
I gently remove her hands from the comforter. My hands glide up her arms, careful not to jostle her injured side. It may have healed already but she hasn’t quite gotten her strength back.
“What can I do? What do you need?” I look around the room at the cramped space. “Do you want to get a bigger place while we go through this trial? We can do that. We have enough in savings if they can’t provide a––”
A startled gasp escapes her, and I stop talking.
“You’re giving me a choice?”