For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel the need to feel guilty about taking her money and readily agreed.
Still, there’s no text from Noah.
Then I groan when I stupidly realize I never gave him my number.
For a man who practically made his presence my shadow for three weeks, he sure knows how to make an exit.
I miss him.
He’s right. Even though we only talked for a few hours, it solidified what I already felt--
an attraction and connection unlike any other.
It wasn’t instant for me like it was for him. It was a culmination of a few things.
He may have thought he was the only one watching me but I was watching him too.
In those moments when he had his head buried in a book or his focus was on his laptop, my attention was zeroed in on him.
That’s when my attraction started growing. In the tiny smiles and brow furrows as he immersed himself in a book and how he was genuinely kind to the other customers at the café.
I watched as he held doors open, talking to the older patrons and playing with the little kids. I loved the way he could hold conversations with anyone at the café.
I miss his presence that felt like it would take up the room and now, his absence that nearly pierces my soul.
Everything about those moments we spent together, just the two of us, felt like a preview to a life I’ve always wanted but never felt I deserved. I feel like for the first time in my life, there is actually someone out there who wants to be with me, take care of me and maybe even love me the way I so desperately ache for.
I rub my chest where a pang hits me again. I can’t forget the look in his eyes as he bared his soul and laid his heart out for me. The way he graciously walked away so I could figure it out, made me feel like what I wanted mattered. He didn’t force his hand or give ultimatums. Even my mom forced me to do things. And yet here was a guy who wanted it to be my choice, regardless of how he felt.
What the fuck am I still doing here?
I grab my phone, hastily swinging my purse around me as I rush to the door.
Then I realize I don’t have his number saved.
I scrounge around my purse for the sticky note as I open the door and that’s when I notice I’m not alone. There’s a person standing on the other side of the door.
“Ria.”
I suck in a breath as I look up to find Noah standing there, his blue eyes piercing mine with restrained emotion.
“Noah… What are you—how are you—how long have you been standing there?”
His hand clings to the doorjamb as his eyes wash over me.
He’s drinking in the sight of me like a man dying of thirst.
“Awhile.” He releases a breath as if he had been holding it in painfully. “I’m sorry, Ria. I know I said I’d wait, but I just had to see you again.”
I shake my head furiously at him because words are failing me right now.
There’s a meteor sized lump forming in my throat and my eyes are welling with tears.
It’s like I conjured him up just when I so desperately wanted to see him again.
He seems to take my response as a rejection. He hangs his head in resignation and starts backing away.
I catch his hand as it leaves the door and tug on it. His eyes fly back to me, hope barely on the surface… but it’s there.