I force myself to give her a small smile, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I don’t want to push you, Ria. All this is crazy and new and terrifying for me too. We’re both so used to being alone that I have a feeling we’ll go around in circles if we don’t hit pause. I’m giving you space to think about what you want.”
Her fingers curl into small fists at her side and I can tell she’s fighting the urge to make me stay knowing I’m right.
We need space. I need to take a step back and think too.
I never intended to do any of this--none of this was part of my plan.
Yesterday when I was at the café, I never thought she would approach me.
I was on my way out when she did and the series of events that led to this moment right here opened my eyes to the possibility of us.
I need to think about what life with her would mean to the plans I had for myself. Training at the academy will take up a lot of my time.
Will she be willing to be with someone she barely saw?
What happens after and I’m assigned a job that isn’t in Virginia?
Would she move again to be with me?
I run my fingers through my hair in an effort to calm the nerves bubbling inside me.
Ria stares at me with so many questions in her eyes that I wish I had the answers to but all I can think about is the fact that I’m handing my heart to a perfect stranger hoping she atleast hands me back a little trust in return.
I run a shaky hand through my hair, waiting for her to speak. I feel like I’ve run a marathon with how much pressure I feel against my chest.
“What now?”
I shrug noncommittally, spotting a sticky note on the counter with a pen next to it.
I scribble my number on it quickly.
“Now we give each other space. I’m going to go back home and finish packing. I’ll be around until Friday before I have to go. I’ll leave my number here. If you decide you’ll have me, just give me a call or even a text. I will be at your door the second you do. If you don’t, you can toss my number in the trash and I’ll assume you’ve decided it’s not worth the risk. Even if you don’t want me, I still want you to have someone to lean on in case of an emergency. I swear I’m not pushing you Ria, but I do care about you and I know if I stay here longer, I’m going to want to do things. I need to go while I still can.”
She takes a moment, folding into herself as her arms go around her middle. Then with a deep sigh, she nods and looks down at her feet.
“What about your shirt?”
Fuck it.
I cross the room back to her, tipping her chin up as I gaze down at this woman I want more than I’ve wanted anything, and that includes a stable job at the bureau.
I drink in the sight of her, my gut churning with uncertainty.
“Keep it. If this is the last time I see you, I want to remember you this way.”
It’s been two days since Noah left and he’s supposed to be leaving tomorrow.
I sit on the edge of my bed as I stare at my packed bags and once again mull over what I should do. I worked my last shift at the café last night, hoping the closure will help me make up my mind. All night I wondered if he would show up and for the first time in weeks, he never did.
I guess he meant it when he said he wouldn’t push me.
I flop backwards on my bed just as a text comes through my phone and I almost break my neck as I jump to grab it from underneath my purse.
It’s just a text from Aunt Patty confirming she booked a moving company for me.
I called her after Noah left and let her know I changed the locks and had no choice but to tell her why. Penny didn’t even let her know she was flying to Paris, let alone that she was seeing anyone. Aunt Patty apologized profusely. Then she offered to have my car and my things in the storage unit shipped to wherever I decide to move.