“Well, that was specific.” Ainsley sits at the island, waiting for an explanation. Charlie continues to murderously glare at Jack. When no one clarifies, she looks at me. “Nice to see you again, Elia,” she says, politely.
“Hi, Ainsley,” I reply, wanting to get out of this space and put something on to cover my neck. I tuck my head and hunch my shoulders, wondering if I still have a scarf in the guest room. Vivian is twisting her engagement ring. She turns to Jack as she takes it off.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” she says as she puts it in his hand.
We all freeze.
“Vivian,” he pleads, reaching for her but she pulls away from him.
It’s almost as if there are consequences for his actions, I think wryly.
“I’m not kidding, Jack. You were told how many times by both me and Charlie to let. It. Go. And you couldn’t. You couldn’t trust me. You couldn’t listen. You had to be right. If Elia wasn’t going to prove you wrong, you were going to make her prove you right. You and his father with your Machiavellian schemes. I’m not interested in marrying someone who won’t listen to me. And I’mdefinitelynot interested in marrying someone who would manipulate my friends and lead them into danger for no good reason other than your petty little ego.”
Charlie sets the bag of peas on the counter as I put the food down for the kittens, petting them both.
“I think you should go,” Charlie says to Ainsley.
She looks up at him, pausing mid bite. “I really stepped into the middle of it, didn’t I?”
No one answers her. Jack is trying to reach for Vivian, who is staying out of his grasp.
“Can I offer my services as aliteralmediator?” Ainsley asks, putting her bagel down. She sounds glib but she looks genuinely concerned.
“No, Ainsley, now really isn’t a good time,” I say, placing my hands on the island, looking at her straight on. I watch her eyes flick along my bruises, then back up to my eyes. She doesn’t react to the bruises like I’d expected her to, but her brow furrows slightly as she tries to calculate what has happened. Behind me, Charlie places his hands on my shoulders gently, nearly withdrawing them when I flinch. He holds steady, sliding them down my arms, and I look at him out of the corner of my eye.
“Can we talk, privately, for a minute?” I ask, and he nods, letting me lead him to his bedroom. We leave everyone in the kitchen as we close the door behind us. Charlie sits on the bed, his brown eyes sad as they follow me.
“I don’t want to fuck everything up for you, again,” I start. He opens his mouth to object and I put my finger on his lips, silencing him. Even that feels like too much, so I drop my hand and start to pace. Last night, I shouldn’t have stayed in his bed, but I had needed that security, that safety. I’d needed to know that if by some bizarre happenstance, Bryan came looking for me there, I would still be safe and protected.
“I didn’t come here to fuck everything up for you again. I don’t want you to think I’m this broken bird you need to keep fixing. I’m not here to break you and Ainsley up. I just needed to be somewhere safe and I knew I would be safe here.” I stop pacing and stand in front of him, watching his reaction.
He takes my hands and pulls me close to him, slowly.
“Is this okay?” he asks, and I nod. He brushes my hair out of my face. I love him for keeping himself smaller than me. He could stand and engulf me with his size, but he doesn’t. He lets me tower over him, letting me have all the power between us. I never realized until this moment how much power Charlie gave me over him and how badly I need it, how badly I need to feel in control of something. “I’m not back with Ainsley. I told you I love you and I meant it. I meant it yesterday. I’ll mean it tomorrow. I’ll mean it in ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred years. There is no moving on from you, and certainly not in two weeks. If you want to push me away, you’re going to have to try harder.”
My resolve breaks, and my body falls into his. I won’t be broken by the things that Bryan said and did. I won’t let him take anything more from me. Some part of me, that part that doesn’t believe Charlie could ever love me, shuts up for good at his declaration. My self-worth isn’t something that I can measure against another person and their success. My upbringing doesn’t make me any less worthy of Charlie and it’s going to take time for that to sink in, but I’m not ready to give up on him, not again. I want to be with him, I want this. I don’t ever want to let him go.
He kisses me tenderly as he cradles my face, remaining wary of my bruises. I open my mouth to him as he kisses me: all love and no pressure. I pull away from him, press my head to his chest, and start to cry.
When we emerge, my eyes finally dry, it’s just Vivian and Ainsley talking softly in the living room. Ainsley is comforting Vivian as she cries, but once she sees us, she stops.
“I got the cliffnotes,” Ainsley says, rubbing Vivian’s back.
I scoop up Bonsai and place her in Vivian’s lap. “Kittens help.”
Vivian cuddles Bonsai while she loudly protests. “I’m so sorry,” she begins.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I say, putting my hand on hers.
“My fiancé almost got you killed.” Her voice cracks as she looks at my throat. My fingers absently touch the bruises. “Ex-fiancé.”
“It was more scare tactic then attempted murder,” I say.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Charlie tense up as he loiters in the kitchen, unsure of what to do. He lets out a breath and his eyes lock with mine as he makes a move towards the door.
“I’m going to take a walk. Are you okay here?”
I feel my hair raise as I think about him being gone. I nod, knowing I can’t stay glued to his side forever. I’m safe here and I’m not alone. He keeps watching me, giving me a chance to object, as he pulls on his jacket and shoes. I don’t stop him as I let out a deep breath and pick up Mochi to snuggle her. Charlie shuts the door quietly behind him, turning the lock so we don’t have to get up.