He seems to come to life at my touch and he reaches out, running a thumb over my cheek. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t say anything.” He kisses me on the lips then stands. “I have to make sure she’s okay.”
My mouth drops open, unable to comprehend that he would pick her in this moment. My eyes drift closed, as I realize that no matter how long I could be with Charlie, he will always have a space for her in his heart. The whole room is hot, too hot, and I want to get outside and away from these people. But I can’t escape Charlie’s friends and go outside since that's where he went to follow her. I grab the tequila and pour myself a double and knock it back, shuddering at the taste. I didn’t even want to come tonight and I wish that I had pushed harder on staying home. But if I had stayed home, I wouldn’t have learned that I will always play second fiddle to Ainsley.
Vivian, who had been in the bathroom during the whole sordid scene, returns and asks, “What did I miss?”
Taryn grabs our hands and drags us to the dance floor. “We’re going to dance,” Taryn says with urgency to Vivian. Jack moves to follow but Taryn turns on him, ferocious. “I think you've done enough for tonight,” she scolds, pulling us away from the group. Vivian opens her mouth to ask what happened, but the look Taryn gives her could shrivel balls.
The three of us dance and I try not to think about my boyfriend chasing after another woman. I try not to think about the lengths Jack will go to break Charlie and me up. I take a drink from the waitress, not caring about the cost, not caring about anything as we dance. I ignore the random guys that come up and dance with us, even giving in a little when I feel someone's hands on my hips. I try to let my mind drift to the past when Vivian and I would go out and see who could get the most free drinks.
My eyes are screwed shut, until fingers thread through mine. They’re larger and rougher than Vivian and Taryn’s. I know these hands; I’ve felt them on every inch of my skin and inside me. I open my eyes, finding Charlie standing before me.
“Can we talk?” he asks. The DJ lowers the music, alerting us to the impending countdown. I don’t know how long I’ve been on the dance floor, but it was too long, any amount of time was too long for Charlie to have been away with someone else on New Year’s Eve.
Taryn rolls her eyes when Jack comes over to grab Vivian for a midnight kiss. She lets out a strangled, disgruntled noise as she looks to the guy next to her, opting to not make him her first kiss of the new year. “I guess I’ll just go fuck myself then,” she hollers over the music to no one in particular before disappearing into the crowd.
I let Charlie lead me down a hallway where the music isn’t as loud and wait for him to say something.
“I’m sorry.” He sounds sincere, but I only cross my arms, not as willing to let it slide like I did last week. Or before that with his father’s comments.
“I followed her because I had to find out what Jack did,” he tries to explain, desperation in his voice. I want to make it go away, how he feels, but I hold tighter to my anger, willing it to stay with me.
“No, you really didn’t.”
“Yes, she embarrassed herself in front of all our friends. Because of lies he told her. All of these people invest with our company. Our reputations matter. And Jack sacrificed some of that with his lies. And no one, not even Ainsley, deserves that kind of embarrassment.”
“So you’re saying that she would have done that if you were still engaged?” I counter, my focus is wavering, my anger slipping. I focus on trying to count how many shots of tequila I have done, how many of them I did to punish myself for Charlie’s actions.
“Well, no,” he objects.
“Then she was trying to stake her claim to you. Even if we weren’t together, she wants to get back with you, Charlie. That is so fucking obvious that even Stevie Wonder could see it.”
Charlie runs a hand through his hair, ruining the gel styling. I look closely at him but I can’t tell if he’s as bombed as I am. I give him a light shove to get him to look at me.
“Iam your girlfriend, not Ainsley. I am the one you’re supposed to turn to first. She embarrassed herself by pissing on you like a dog on a hydrant, but she also embarrassed me. You want me to fit in your world? You want your friends to respect me and our relationship? Don’t go chasing after your ex. What the fuck were you thinking, Charlie?” I challenge, blinking furiously. He looks heartbroken at how hurt I am.
“I don’t know!” he shouts, shifting his weight.
I gently touch the inside corners of my eyes, hoping to catch the tears before they fall and ruin my makeup. “I love you, Charles Breckenridge III. I love you in ways that I didn’t know I was capable of, but I do not deserve to play second fiddle to anyone. I won’t do it,” I say sniffling.
He grabs me and kisses me then but I push him back and he huffs through his nose. He runs his hands through his hair again.
“You will never play second fiddle to anyone. I told you I loved you and that’s not going to change. I had no heart before, but you are my heart. You make getting up in the morning worth it and coming home worth it. Did you know I have a couch in my office? I used to sleep on it four nights a week.
“Never in my life have I been home before ten.Never, that includes when I was engaged to Ainsley. I come home to you, to us, because I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time, since before Bora Bora and Thanksgiving. You have given my life meaning in a way that I never had before. I’m sorry, I fucked up.”
I waver, looking at him, knowing these things are true. I kiss him then, pulling him against me.
“You are mine,” I say, pulling away, looking him in the eyes, “You come home to me.”
I kiss him again, reaching down between his legs to rub against him, so that I’m the reason he’s hard. Charlie spins us, so I’m pressed against the wall, as he opens his mouth and heart to me, kissing me hard. His hands slide down, cupping my ass, picking me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pins me against the wall, crushing me there. He unzips his pants, pulling himself free, not caring that we’re in the back of some club.
“I am yours,” he confirms, sliding his arm under my leg so it’s hooked over it. With that hand, he pulls my underwear to the side and thrusts himself into me.
“I am yours,” I echo to him, my voice ragged and breathy. I lean my head back, hitting it against the wall, moaning as he slips back out of me then slams himself home.
Charlie moves his hips in rhythm to the pulsating music around us. I bite my lip and tangle my fingers in his hair as he presses against me.
“Oh God,” I moan. I can feel the tide rising in me, the crush of my orgasm ready to render me spent. He must feel it because he uses his other hand to cover my mouth as my moans get louder. He kisses and sucks my neck, a hickey no doubt forming, while shushing me. The tawdriness of it only riles me up further, a throaty moan escaping, despite my best attempts. He bites on my shoulder as he comes, his movements frenzied. Our movements slow as we come down from the release.