I reach up and touch my necklace, embarrassed by the cost and the fact that I had no idea. “I’m sorry, it cost how much?” I whisper, but my words are drowned out by a group arriving for dinner. Charlie choses that moment to return with the coats. I wish I had just a few more minutes to puzzle out this necklace business.
“They got them confused. Here you go, love,” he says to me, opening the jacket so I can slide my arms through. I want to run back to the apartment, take the necklace off, and lock it in a safe. I’m not sure I’ve ever owned anything this expensive. My gift for Charlie barely covered the taxes on mine. How am I supposed to fit in this world? Vivian is able to rise to their ranks with her education and job, but what do I have that gets me through the door besides a bewitching pussy?
I’m quiet the entire time we ride to the club. I’m worried I’m putting too much pressure on Charlie by being in this relationship. He wants to be with me, I know he does, but I’m scared that my love for him isn’t enough to overcome these hurdles between us. My insecurity about us is starting to be a problem for me, and I know I have to seriously consider therapy.
There is a line around the corner for the club, but we walk straight up to the front of the line. There are people standing at the front, glaring at us as we approach and I can’t help but wonder how long they have been waiting.
I hug my coat closer to me as a harsh wind blows through, feeling its bite even through my layers. There is a bouncer with a clipboard checking names and I wonder if we’re on it. I’m sure Charlie and Jack look suave enough to pass, their hair slicked back and in their fine clothes. If I can remember anything from before, it’s that women get a pass into most clubs, so Vivian and I should be covered. Although, I see plenty of women freezing in the line for who knows how long. If it gets me into the club and out of the cold, I can be okay with blatant sexism.
“Mr. Breckenridge,” the bouncer says as Charlie shakes his hand. Folded between Charlie’s fingers is cash that he passes on, a move I’ve seen him perform numerous times with the air of someone who knows that cash is how you get things done.
“Reggie, I hope the wife and family are well.”
The man smiles easily. “My wife is due in two months.”
Charlie slaps him on the shoulder before reaching into his pocket for more cash. I can never get used to Charlie pulling out his wallet, a hefty load of bills clipped away. He’s not even embarrassed or worried about it when he does things like this.
“Put this toward the college fund.” There are groans from the line, angry that we’ve just strolled up, in our warm coats and flushed cheeks, to get in ahead of them. There is, of course, one guy who has to say something about the injustice.
“You’re going to let these pricks in ahead of us because of a bribe? If that was all it took, I’ve got twenty bucks right here!”
Charlie spares a glance at the guy before looking at Reggie with a smirk.
Reggie frowns. “He just slipped me five hundred bucks and dropped twenty Gs on bottle service and you want to give me twenty bucks? Get the fuck outta here.'' Reggie waves us in, wishing us a ‘Happy New Year’ as we go.
“Do you ever get tired of throwing your money around like you’re Mr. Monopoly?”
Charlie’s mouth quirks up at my question. “Not if it still impresses you.” He swoops down, kissing my cheek.
The entire club is throbbing from the loud music and movement of the people dancing inside. It’s nearly pitch black inside; the only lights in the cavernous room are strobe lights. A hostess leads us to our table, which is tucked in a corner. Our group has already started to gather around the table with bottles of liquor sticking out of ice buckets. College turned me off vodka, after being served the cheap shit in high-end bottles too many times, and gin always tasted like dirt to me. I can’t help the downward tilt of my lips, knowing I’ll just suck it up and drink the vodka. No doubt this is good stuff, and hopefully it doesn’t send my stomach turning at the first taste.
Charlie catches my frown, waiving the waitress back. “What do you want, love?”
My head snaps to the term of endearment. “I’m fine with this,” I say, starting to mix a drink for myself.
“You’re not. What do you want?”
Vivian must see the war on my face. She knows bottles at events like this are several hundred dollars. Seems kinda ridiculous considering I could go to the store and pick up this shit for pennies compared to what this club charges.
“TEQUILA FOR THIS BITCH!” Vivian shouts at Charlie over the music.
The waitress, who is anxiously looking around at her other tables, just raises her eyebrows to Charlie for confirmation. He hands her his credit card, ordering her to keep the tab open. Behind Vivian, Jack frowns, and I know it’s just another nail in my coffin with him. I reach up to my necklace, worried now that someone will steal it right off my neck.
I see Taryn sitting down, with a space open beside her and I move in to greet her. She welcomes me with a hug and I’m grateful for this new friend.
“I’m glad you decided to come. I wasn’t sure if this was your sort of scene,” she shouts to be heard over the music.
“I’m not sure it is either, but I’m here.”
She pours me a vodka cranberry and shoves it into my hand. “The drunker you are, the easier it is to ignore the come-ons. Not that Chuck will let anyone lay a hand on you.” She glances over my shoulder. “I was just telling your girlfriend what a catch you are.”
Charlie smiles, locking eyes with me and I feel his eyes burn for me. Right now, I think we’re both wishing we were anywhere but here. His button-down has the top few buttons undone and he’s already rolled up his sleeves. Taryn clinks her plastic cup with mine before tossing it back and I follow suit. My reaction isn’t as strong as I expected, but I’m glad that I won’t have to drink much of it.
“Thanks, Taryn, I really needed the upsell.” The tequila is delivered with some lime slices and a small salt shaker and I have flashbacks to when Vivian and I first moved to the city and we were eager to get drunk as cheaply as possible so we took to doing shots whenever possible. At this time, Vivian and I each salt our hands and hold the glass and a lime. Charlie and Jack join us, along with a few others I recognize from the engagement party a week ago.
“To old friends, new friends, and the love that bonds us all,” Vivian toasts.
The salt is coarse on my tongue as I lick it, dulling the taste of the liquor until the lime helps to soothe the burn. I haven’t had a serious drink like this in, I don’t know how long, so I have no clue what to expect from my tolerance. Although I have to bet it’s poor, just from not drinking the last several months. I can feel the liquid warming its way through my veins, spreading to my fingers and toes. Charlie grabs the back of my neck and pulls me to him, kissing me hard.