I grab his already hard cock and stroke him, teasing, watching what earns a reaction and what doesn’t. It’s in the subtle movements: the bite of his lips, the burn in his eyes that tells me what pressure to apply, where to touch, how to get him going.
His hands are reaching for me, but I’m mostly out of his grasp, sitting further back on his thighs. I wrap the straps around his wrists. They are light and fun, easy to stop using if we decide we don’t like it. The whole time I’m velcroing him in, Charlie looks delighted. He tugs at the bindings, feeling their strength, and I wonder if it will hold. I pull a condom from the nightstand, his eyes on me, and I slowly slide it down over him.
He can only watch as I slowly lower myself onto him, a throaty “Oh” the only noise I get from him. My own whimper escapes, my eyes locked on his, as I pause and take in the fullness of him. He tries to fight against the restraints to reach me, but I shake my head, letting my hair down from the clip it’s been in.
I set the pace, moving my hips, gyrating, tempting, teasing, and pulling at the threads that hold us. His breathing is labored as he tries to shift his hips up, but I won’t let him, pulling myself up and away. The sound of his growl sends a thrill up my spine. His hands wrap around the straps, holding tight to them as I move him closer to climax.
He doesn’t need to warn me, though he opens his mouth to do so, because I’m hitting the same stride. My body clenches around him and my head falls back as I moan loudly. My body seems to take over, knowing what it needs to do to ride this wave. I dig my nails into his chest, needing something to hold onto, something to ground me as my whole body tightens and releases like a coiled spring. I roll my torso forward, pressing my forehead against his, both of us panting for breath even as I rock my hips a few more times, his body still shuddering. I reach over and undo the velcro on one hand before moving to the other side. I kiss him with my body folded against his. His arms come up around me, hugging me to his chest.
“Next time, it’s your turn to endure that sweet torture,” he murmurs, kissing my lips.
I want to lock us in this moment, in this room, away from outside voices like Jack and Ainsley. I want to hold on to this bliss but I know it has to end. I climb off him, gingerly, before sweeping my hair up as we both wash off.
“You forgot the riding crop,” he jokes when we’re back in bed, tugging my body close to his under the covers.
Chapter 18
Wewakeupnaturally,with no intentions for Christmas morning. Charlie folds his arms around me, holding me close to him as he presses a kiss to my head. I groan, pulling the blankets over my head.
“What if we never left this bed?” I ask, knowing the answer. Charlie tucks me closer to his body, my back against his chest, and he kisses my neck, nipping at my ear.
“We could. I have no strong feelings about seeing my mother and brother.”
I let him kiss me. I let him distract me and soothe me. There are probably a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t even be in bed with this glorious man, but that’s why I refuse to see a psychologist. I don’t want to hear it.
“When was the last time you saw them?” I ask. I roll over to face him, my finger tracing along his face and jaw. I catch the muscle tightening there as he holds my gaze.
“After Ainsley and I got engaged, we had a get-together with the families to celebrate.”
I kiss him on the lips. “We need to have a longer conversation about her eventually, but you should see them sooner rather than later.”
He kisses my nose. “Ask your questions. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being compared to her at every turn. I know I’m not the most open book, but in my mind, she’s behind me. That’s why I never bring her up or talk about it.”
I don’t tell him that he’s on the money, that I feel like I’m being compared to her. “Okay, I get that, but I feel like I’ve had the hood pulled over my eyes with you knowing Vivian and then with Ainsley, it’s just... it’s been confusing.” He’s open to answering my questions, so I push forward. “How long were you together, how did you meet, and how much did everyone in your life love her?” The words come out fast and furious. I feel better having let them out but I hold my breath a little because I’m worried about the answers.
He doesn’t belittle me or make a joke of it. He answers me, honestly and quickly. “We met in college. We started dating our senior year. She went to Harvard for law school. We broke up because I was working miserable hours and couldn’t handle long distance. When she moved back to New York for work, we reconnected, as friends. We didn’t start dating again right away because she was a new associate and working long hours too. After her first year, we ran into each other at a party and then started dating again. I proposed about two years ago and then we broke up a year later. My family has known her since I was a freshman in college, so they're comfortable with her.” He runs his knuckle along my cheek. I hook my leg over his hip pulling him close to me. I feel his hardness against my leg.
I kiss him gently.
“Have you talked to her since the break-up?” I feel like it’s a game of twenty questions.
“No, we haven’t talked. She didn’t even have to coordinate getting her stuff out of our apartment. We were engaged for so long because I couldn't commit to a wedding date, but the way she cut me out was,” he pauses, “efficient.” His fingers twine around my hair, tickling the nape of my neck.
“What changed?” I whisper, unsure why I should expect this to be any different.
“Everything. I hit you with my car, Elia. That was a big fucking wake up call. I wasn’t driving but if I hadn’t been working late? If I hadn’t been so focused on work, so focused on squeezing every minute out of every day, then...”
“Then we wouldn’t have met.”
“Let's stop talking about her,” he orders as he rolls over on top of me. He slowly slides into me and my hands grasp his shoulders. We slowly make love. I hold him close to me as I climax, savoring him. He kisses my forehead and pulls out without finishing himself. I start to object and he waves me off.
“I shouldn’t have done it without a condom to begin with.”
I get out of bed, kissing his shoulder. “I would have objected if I had a bigger problem with it.”
I jump in the shower, humming Christmas carols. We never did pick up a tree but I resolve to find one for next year, if there is a next year. Charlie is no longer in the bedroom when I emerge, but I can hear the sounds of his rowing machine. The man never misses a day.
I have a few more surprises up my sleeves for the day, starting with matching flannel pajamas that I got for us with dancing reindeer all over. I set Charlie’s pair on the bed for him. Even if he doesn’t want to wear them all day, I want to get at least one photo of the two of us in them.