“Yeah, you say that, but I was a huge dick to him. I was so mad that we were only out of the hotel for maybe two hours and I hadn’t gotten to do or see anything, all because this kid binged on whatever sugar he could get his hands on.” He sounds disappointed with himself; his child's reaction to the situation.
“You were a child. I’m sure I did some pretty shitty things when I was ten, too. I know I was an asshole to my parents when I was a teenager. You can’t be too hard on yourself. Besides, there is still time to fix it. What are you doing for Christmas?”
We had danced around the upcoming holidays after Thanksgiving. I hoped I would be back in my apartment before then, but stairs were still a struggle, no matter how much work I put in. Part of me hoped that I could find another apartment on a lower floor, but my landlord wasn’t sympathetic to my plight.
“Well, I haven’t thought about it, honestly. I wasn’t sure what your holiday traditions were. I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know what faith you follow.” His words highlight just how much more we have to learn about each other.
“I am a non-practicing Catholic. I used to be a C&E Catholic, but after my parents died, I had a falling out with God,” I admit easily. Even calling myself a Christmas and Easter Catholic was a stretch. I would only go if my parents were going and too often we were busy with something else. Once I made my confirmation, it was all over.
“You never talk about them,” he says, pushing his empty plate away. “Now that I’ve spilled my family history, the floor is open, if you want it.”
My fingers trace the condensation on my water glass as I think about my parents. “There was a fire in their house after I graduated college. It turns out the home improvements they had just done were not up to code and the electrician cut some corners. Because of the origin of the fire, they never had a chance. The settlement money is what pays for my apartment; at least that's what my bank account tells me.” I try to be glib about it, but I still miss them. It was actually eight years ago, but in my mind, it’s more recent and the wound is still fresh.
“Thank God you were a good record keeper,” Charlie says.
“My dad was really good at keeping files and it sort of rubbed off on me, I guess. Good thing, too.” Around us, the attendants start to clean up, putting away the cookware and folding the canopy. One of the attendants comes over and asks if we want a picture together before we have to put an end to the dream. I say yes with enthusiasm, jumping out of my seat.
The man fancies himself an amature photographer, taking candid photos as well as staged ones. I hear the shutter close a few times as we align ourselves on the beach. I turn to look up at Charlie, finding his eyes on me. There is no awkwardness, no question of what is okay or hesitation for how to proceed. We each wrap our arms around the other. I grasp my wrist around his middle, grinning at him. Charlie leans down and kisses me, slowly, not caring that there is a camera on us, going off wildly. The way he looks at me. makes me forget that I don’t entirely know who I am. It makes me think that I might be okay with that. I won’t let Charlie become my whole world once I know what I’m doing, but I want to stay in his orbit as long as he’ll let me.
When I realize we have to swim back to the boat, I groan.
“Don’t make me. I’m going to get a cramp and sink and die,” I whine, stepping into the warm water.
“You will not. I won’t let anything happen to you,” Charlie reassures me, taking my hands and kissing them.
I let myself float, his large hands tugging me toward him. “Easy for you to say, you can stand and be fine. I’m going to be carried off to my watery doom.”
Charlie laughs, never letting go of my hand as we swim out, carefully tracking when the sand bar ends.
Slowly, we make our way back to the boat, the small dot slowly growing closer. I wasn’t wrong about my side cramping up as I tried to keep up with Charlie. He lazily floated along as I was struggling. He lets me hold on to him and rest as he swims towards the boat. When we get back, I cling to the ladder and rest against it so I can catch my breath. Charlie comes up behind me, bracing his feet on the bottom step so I can lean against him. His hands grip the metal, letting me just enjoy the feel of him.
“Take your time,” he teases as I slowly climb onto the small deck. I grab the digital SLR to take more photos as the sun makes its final descent. Charlie moves past me, up to the deck. When I finally put the camera down, Charlie has glasses of champagne for us. We sit in a comfortable silence, letting the boat gently rock us.
I make Charlie take a few selfies with his phone. We take some goofy pics, some smiling, and a few of us kissing like we’re teenagers. On a whim, I upload one of them to Pictogram, even though I have no followers and I follow no one. I want to document this adventure so when I’m old and think this was all a dream, I will have something tangible to hold on to.
Chapter 10
Thelightsareonin our villa when we get back. There are petals all over the place, leading from the doorway into the bedroom. The silky rose petals cover the king bed, and on each nightstand, there is a bucket with a bottle of champagne in it. The tub water is flowing over the infinity edge, casting petals down the drain. The door is open so we can look out on the night sky full of stars, twinkling just for us. There are candles burning at various heights around the rim of the tub and the entire room.
I’m pleasantly surprised by this. I turn to look back at Charlie, expecting him to look pleased with himself, but he looks as surprised as I do. Drifting farther into the room, I walk over to the tub and dip a toe in, finding the water piping hot, as if it was just filled.
“This wasn’t you.”
“No, not me.” Charlie walks over to a little card, set between two kissing towel swans, in the middle of the bed.
“‘Happy marriage, Mr. and Mrs. Breckenridge,’” he reads, fighting a smile.
“We should have corrected someone along the way,” I scold, taking it from him and reading it for myself.
“Nah, it’s better this way,” he says, leaning down and kissing me. He is not slow or soft this time. There is heat behind it as he walks me backward onto the bed, demanding that I yield to him, and I do. My heart melts along with my body, nervousness giving way to burning desire.
I sit down, my hands fisted in his shirt, tugging him with me. His hand cups the back of my head as he lowers me all the way down onto the bed, and then he slowly climbs on top of me. I let go of his shirt to shimmy back further onto the bed. I would laugh as I scramble backward, watching him toss the swans off the bed, but the way he looks at me, like he’s seeing my whole self, makes me feel exposed. It’s not a bad thing that he’s seeing all of me. I find it makes me freer, knowing that he’s seen me at one of the darkest moments in my life and he’s still here.
He follows me, crawling across the bed, eyes not leaving mine before he kisses me again. Charlie’s progression starts down my neck, nuzzling me gently as his hands find the hem of my dress and lifts it overhead. He nips my ear before tossing my dress on the floor.
Charlie trails his fingers along the edge of my bathing suit top, the featherlight touch almost tickling me as he pulls down on my one shoulder strap. A gentle kiss is placed on each of my shoulders as he pulls the strap completely off my arm, freeing my breasts. My hands go to his sides to take his shirt off, but he is already reaching behind him, pulling it over his head and absently throwing it across the room. I tell myself to play it cool when he does that because my mind goes blank watching his muscles flex. He has the body of an action figure and for some reason this wonderful, caring man has chosen to share a bed with me.
I lean forward and press a kiss to his sternum, running my hands up his back to pull him toward me. Charlie resists me, guiding one knee and then another between my legs. He tugs at the one-piece, pulling it down, lifting my hips so the suit can be removed entirely. He smirks the whole way as I gladly spread my legs for him.