“By Marcus?” Tully questions, picking up on my tone.
“Yes, I was never raped by Marcus but Lucien had other plans. He believed that as he had bought me from Anton as a child and raised me, he was entitled to strip me of my innocence. I was raped by him and that’s the night I took Blake and we ran.”
Rivers nods, taking it all in. “I’m so sorry,” he tells me. “You’ve suffered through so much.”
“You think that’s all of it? Come on, you were raised by Anton Mathers. What would he have done if he was in Lucien’s position and the one girl who could ensure he was locked up had just run?”
His face drops. “He’d go after her at all costs.”
I nod. “And that’s exactly what he did,” I explain, not wanting to get into too many details from that one. “He nearly cost me my life and almost took my boyfriend’s. Now my brother is in the hospital, not knowing if he’ll ever be able to play basketball again.”
Tully places a hand on Rivers’ back. “They’re survivors,” she tells him. “They’ve had it bad but they’re coming out the other end now. I can feel it, she’s going to be alright. They’re fighting back just like we did.”
Rivers lets out a heavy breath before sitting back up on the couch. “I hate that I had a part in taking away your life,” he tells me. “Every day I wish I could go back and be stronger, say something that would help, but I can’t.”
“You were eight,” I remind him. “There’s nothing you could have done to help me, Blake or my parents. We were all fucked that night.”
“We were,” he agrees.
“How did you turn it around?” Shay questions.
“I’m not going to lie,” he says. “I followed the road of darkness for too long. I did unspeakable things and under his order, I’ve taken three lives, each one of them just as horrific and hard as the last. It took me a really long time to be able to breathe again and I have Tully to thank for that. She pulled me into the light and showed me, despite the things I’d done for my father, I was still worth saving. I joined the marines and my deployment went a long way in healing my soul.”
“You were punishing yourself,” Tully cuts in.
“That may be true,” he murmurs. “But it was worth it and I’d do it all over again if it means being able to have this happiness with you.”
Tully leans in and brushes her lips over his. “I love you,” she whispers. “Don’t you ever forget that.”
“Never.” His hands drop to her stomach and she closes her eyes at his touch. The love between them speaks volumes and I realize that this man is worth forgiving. He’s had a tough life just like me and he’s been able to bring himself out the other end and find love, not only in Tully but in himself.
He will always be the boy who held the knife, but it was by Anton’s hand that my parents were taken. He was just an innocent boy who woke up wanting to enjoy his eighth birthday.
“You took everything from me,” I find myself saying. “My family, my home, my light. I had thirteen years of hell and a few days ago, the arrest warrant went out for Lucien Valentine which means that my fight is finally over. That’s a part of the reason I went to see Anton. I want to close the book on this chapter and I want to live in happiness instead of fear, so I want to close the book on you too. I want to forgive you, Rivers, and then I never want to see you again.”
His eyes close and within seconds, I watch as the tension fades from his shoulders. “Thank you,” he whispers across the room. “I realize that couldn’t have been easy but I promise you that I will take that forgiveness and make the world a better place. The lives that were lost at my hands will not be in vain.”
“I appreciate that,” I tell him.
He stands and offers his hand to Tully helping her up off the couch as she struggles with her bump. Rivers walks toward me, taking it slowly.
Shay meets us by the door and opens it for Tully, while thanking her for helping Rivers find his happiness. After all, without Rivers happiness, how would I have ever been able to let that go?
Rivers steps up in front of me and hesitantly places a hand on my shoulder, making me proud of myself for not flinching. “I truly am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you and your brother, and especially to your mom. If I could have changed what happened that night, I would.”