Cold sweat doused my whole body when I shocked awake. I was sick of dreaming of that night, sick of every nightmare, but especially the ones that forced me to relive the worst day of my life. My only friend—dead, covered in blood, cut in so many places I couldn't count them.
"It's okay, sweet human," Sang murmured, arms tightening from behind me and his warm body pressing against my back. "We've got you."
We…?
I cracked my eyes open, startling when I found Mav cuddled close to my front and Void behind him inside the nest Sang made, the god watching me with a tight, worried stare. Looking at Mav was hard; even in his monstrous form, the similarities in his bone structure reminded me so much of Vann. It was like looking at a bigger, bluer version of him, and it hurt so much.
"You're all here…?" I asked, looking at God of the Void instead of Mav. The big, grey shadowkind frowned slightly at me, as if he was trying to scour my thoughts, but no claws raked over my skull.
"You were screaming," Sang replied, squeezing me tighter to him until I let out a sharp breath and he eased his gripslightly. His big hands spread across my stomach, touching as much of me as possible. "It hurt to listen to you."
"Oh," I breathed.
I'd been screaming in my sleep, so they all came to comfort me? I swallowed a lump in my throat, smiling despite the urge to cry.
"Thank you," I rasped. "I don't know why you'd care about me screaming when I killed you, Mav, and ran away and—"
"None of that matters," Mav cut off with a huff, draping a tentacle over my waist too, overlapping Sang's arm. "We've moved past the whole murder thing, so stop worrying. As for running away … Void?"
"Never. Again," Void said in a scary calm whisper. His black eyes pinned me in place, and my heart rate kicked up a few notches. "You don't run from us ever again."
I nodded quickly. I knew it was stupid, and probably because of my life in the hutch, but Ihateddisappointing people. I physically couldn't let them down. Vann called me a people pleaser, teased me about it endlessly.
Pain twisted in my chest, and I glanced away.
Misreading my hurt, a thread of anger entered Void's voice. "You were almostkilled, Hala. A shadowkind had his pincer around your throat. One false move, and your head would have snapped off your neck."
"I know," I replied in a small voice, looking at the furry blanket pulled around me. "I'm glad you were there. I know I'd be dead without you. I was too scared to really fight."
Sang rumbled a hiss, kissing my shoulder. "Stop upsetting her, Void."
"No," I rushed out, snapping my gaze up to Void in panic. "It's not you. It's just my dream, I'm fine. I'll be okay later."1
"Nightmare," Mav corrected gently, brushing my jaw with the soft, velvety tip of a tentacle. My bottom lip wobbled. "That was one hell of a dream, firecracker."
I nodded silently. Sometimes the memory was indistinct, just a blur of blood and grief without solid shapes, but this time … everything had been clear. Sharp enough to cut me.
"Sit up, Hala," Void said, hard enough to be a command.
I tugged at Sang's arm and Mav's tentacle, pulling myself upright with a frown, not sure why Void wanted me sitting until he crawled across Mav and settled into the space behind me.
A rough breath expelled from my lungs when he pulled me back into him, heat sinking into my bones and melting the stress and tension from my body.
When Sang and Mav wrapped their arms and tentacles around me again, my eyes fluttered, stinging with emotion. The nightmare hovered, taunting me with the scent of blood, the sound of walls blasting open and keepers shouting instructions to contain us.
"Like I was saying," Void said, his arms a comforting weight around my middle. "No more running away—unless one of us is with you. I know you're lethal and capable, but you're still human, and here that's a very dangerous thing to be."
"I'm not going to run," I replied quietly, barely seeing the tent around us, the cushions and blankets Sang had painstakingly arranged. "I was—I was always supposed to come here. I just wasn't meant to be alone."
"What?" Mav breathed, something frozen in his turquoise eyes, like he was mentally bracing for my answer.
The whole reason I was here was because of the locket, because Mav was searching for answers about his brother's disappearance, because Sang and Void were his friends and wanted to help.Andbecause Sang wanted to play with me, but I'd ended up not completely hating that.
Because they heard me suffering last night and came to comfort me, I opened my mouth and let all my truth spill out.
"I wasn't born in a hospital like most people. I was born in a place called the hutch."
Behind me, Void stiffened. He'd already seen some of my life, but Mav deserved to know the rest. He deserved to know what had happened to his brother.