For a moment I stared at him.
Those eyes…
He looked like someone I’d lost. My only friend.
But I shook that particular memory away. If I let that one out of the vault, it wouldruinme.
The shadowkind strode towards me without hesitation, and I gave him a sweet smile, knowing exactly what he saw. A tall, pale woman with silver hair, a baby face, and a generously-curved body. Not a threat. Not a killer. Not aweapon.
"Here," I breathed when he was close enough, and when he leaned towards me, I thrust the knife straight into his stomach.
More air flooded my lungs when hot blood spilled, and the weight on my chest eased a fraction. I was okay; my keeper wouldn’t find me. I was okay.
Before the shadowkind could process more than shock, I whipped the knife up and slashed it across his throat, my belly filling with butterflies when the glamour ripped away and I was faced with the true, monstrous sight of him.
Oh.Oh.
His skin was dark blue and almost metallic, and he was even taller than his glamour, practically nine feet tall. Long, sleek hair fell around his broad shoulders like black silk, and his face was every bit as disturbingly handsome even dark, navy blue in tone. But what gave me pause were the four long, writhing tentacles where arms should have been.
"Oh god," I breathed. I'd never seen tentacles before. I hadn't even been to an aquarium.
"You stabbed me," the shadowkind said, stunned as his throat gushed blood. He shouldn't have been able to talk, but he was a creature of the void—everything behaved differently there. Angrily, he repeated, "You fuckingstabbedme."
I backed up in surprise, squeaking out, "Sorry. Sorry, I just—I needed—"
Get a grip, Hala.
Recovering, I pushed aside my trauma and sank into the pain that allowed me to grasp my magic. It rose like a second skin, covering my hands in a lilac glow. They trembled a little as I thrust them at the shadowkind's bleeding throat, but my aim was true.
He jerked back, but not fast enough.
The second my skin connected with his, magic blasted through me, making my heart beat so fast it nearly exploded. Pain gathered inside my skull, but it was a good pain—pain I could use to make more magic.
"I’m so sorry, it’s nothing personal I promise," I told the shadowkind, a frown furrowing my brow when he lashed tentacles at me, too weak to cause any real damage.
I kept eye contact. I hated this part of me, but I needed to see it—the moment his life left him. It happened slowly, and I caught my breath when a long, muscular limb wrapped around my waist and squeezed tightly, the monster fighting until his last breath. But I poured more and more magic into him.
Please, please. I need it. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me anymore…
My magic rushed like poison through his blood, dissolving everything it touched until the velvety tentacle wrapped around my waist fell away and the shadowkind staggered back. I felt every second, the power a rush that left me breathless in a good way this time. It was addictive, and I drank it down—the power, the approaching death, the control I had.Me,not the keepers. This wasmine.
I filled my lungs with air, the shadow of my nightmares chased away as I watched the shadowkind stumble back, trying to hold his throat together, as if that would save him. My magic was inside him, eating away at everything, and it feltamazing. The rush of it raised all the hairs on my arms, and my heart skipped in those final moments.
He met my gaze, resignation mixing with hatred in bright turquoise eyes, and I didn’t dare look away as he collapsed into a puddle of acid and navy blue goop on the ground.
"Fuck, that felt good," I groaned, my hand pressed to my racing heart.
I’d neverwantedto kill—I still wished I didn’t have to—but there was no way back now I needed it.
This was my strength, my talent, and where I belonged. This was the only thing that kept me going, kept me fighting when I knew the keepers would catch up to me sooner or later. Probably sooner.
And anything they'd do with me now would be a hundred times worse than the torture they'd put me through before.
"Worry about that later," I chided myself, kneeling next to the once-shadowkind puddle with a relieved sigh. Tension fell from my muscles, my anxiety fading to nothing.
"Thank you so much for that," I murmured, and patted the pool of dark blood on the floor. "I really appreciate it."
It wasn't like the world would miss one more monster. I was doing everyone a favour, really. And there were no consequences of killing a shadowkind, unlike killing a human.