“Mistakes?” Cassidy whispers. The anxious way she said that chills my skin.
“Little one, don’t,” Max says deeply.
Clay’s fingers still haven’t moved, haven’t continued in a contented, relaxed way across my skin. Stiff like needles now.
His voice is deep and raspy behind me as he says, “I’m going to need you three to finally explain what the hell the woman who brought you into this world did that is so beyond redemption all three of you despise her. Her life was not easy either. She was taken from England, from her family, dropped in the District and made to raise you three while Butch fucked around. I know she’s cold. But after all she has been through—"
“I don’t despise her! She despisesus.” Xander’s words howl around the three brothers like a ghost exorcised from a soul. Goosebumps rush along my arms, raising my little blonde hairs. “She tried to kill us.”
Clay’s fingers twitch. “What do you mean?”
Max’s eyes fall to Cassidy’s paling face. “Go inside, little one. I don’t want you here for—”
“Don’t you dare, Max Butcher.” She shakes her head defiantly. “Don’t you dare. I’m not leaving your side.”
Xander continues, “She smacked us around.”
Oh, God, what is happening…
Smacked them around?
"—been through with that cunt Victoria."Shoshanna’s words leak back into my mind, and my cheeks fall cold.
“Shedisciplinedyou,” Clay corrects, and I hate his tone in this moment. Seeing Xander wince, Bronson turn to stone, and Max growl at Clay’s blatant dismissal, I hold my stomach protectively. Something bad has happened to them. Something that they have never shared with Clay. It’s clear in the way that sentence affects them deeply; their reactions all mimic and bar as though they can’t escape the influence.
“Fuck you, Clay. She tried to drown Bronson.” Xander’s face twists in anguish as he points to Max. “She left him in a bathtub until he was so cold his heart was barely beating. She left me in a closet for two weeks and told everyone I was staying at a friend’s house. That’s not even the half of it! She isn’t going to check on Max, Clay. She doesn’t care.”
My hands shake on my abdomen.Clay didn’t know…Then I remember Max’s outburst from a few days ago… “What about when we were just children? Dammit! We needed our big brother! What about then?"
It is as though Clay hears those words as I do, his breathing becoming rough and defensive.
Sadness spreads through my veins like acid. “Clay didn’t know,” I mutter aloud, and they look at me as though I’ve spouted another head. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“He didn’t want to know,” Max spits out.
“That is not true!” Clay curses through gritted teeth. “What were the circumstances of this? What did you do to—”
“Is there a situation”—Xander steps closer— “that would make locking me in a closet for two weeks a suitable punishment from a mother to a child?”
“No.” Clay drops his hands from my shoulders altogether, balling them into tight, white-knuckled fists. “I only mean that—”
“Would it be a suitable punishment to drown your child if they broke something?” Xander challenges.
“No.”
“Would it be excusable if she was drunk, not in her right mind?”
“Of course not!”
Xander’s eyes fill with tears. “Then why do you need the circumstances and reasons for why this happened—”
“Because that is how I handle things, goddamn it!” Clay shouts, and I jump to my feet.
Turning to touch his shoulder for support, I feel the powerful muscles that are hot, pulsing, and ready. Clay Butcher, a man whose control is unparalleled, sounds and feels as though he may be breaking down.
Clay glances over his shoulder at me, his eyes dropping to my abdomen. “Your brothers will only get in your way,” he utters, and it’s a sentence lost in a memory that sparks through his gaze like wildfire. His eyes shift to Xander again. “You didn’t tell me.”
“The bruises didn’t give it away?” Xander asks, his voice low and broken, forcing my heart to squeeze.