“Because,” he says, unclasping his hands and resting one along the back of the seat, “I don’t want that for you. Bronson is in too deep. It’s been his identity since he was a kid. He’s falling in love with Jimmy and the Family. But, luckily, he loves you endlessly more.”
I smile at that. “I know.”
“Butch married for business,” he presses. “I will too.”
And I know he is referring to Aurora - Jimmy Storm’s daughter. They have been a celebrity couple for years. I honestly thought, well, I thought they were in love. They sold it to the District well. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
He smiles softly, a world of power in his eyes but also something genuine and raw. I like this side of him. A side I doubt many people see. Perhaps only his family. Is that what I am now? “We take what we have and we make it our own,” he says. “Fighting it does nothing but leaves us exhausted and exposed. But I don’t want this life for my brothers.”
I let out a dubious sigh. “Too late.” The car slowly pulls up alongside my school. Kids in all directions freeze like bunnies in headlights at the eldest Butcher brother’s entourage. They know who he is.
“It’s not,” he declares, ignoring the outside world, seemingly unaffected by the attention he receives. I relax in the private sanctuary of his car, invisible behind tinted black windows. I look back at Clay. “When I marry Aurora,” he says. “My brothers will be able to marry for love. Don’t get me wrong, Aurora is my closest confidant. I am very fond of her. But she is the eldest daughter of the most powerful man in the state, and you don’t grow up in our world with misconceptions about your role in this legacy. . . But let’s just say, we will have a slightly different managerial style than Jimmy. . . Until then, though, you keep my little brother occupied and out of trouble. Be his distraction from our business. And I give you my word, I won’t be absent again. I will protect you and my brother. . . my nephew. . .from thislifestyle. You will be safe and happy together.”
I nod in acceptance.
Shoshanna
Present day
The RV rolls slowlyto a stop. But I just stare at my hands, trembling and covered in his blood. They remind me of a night in ED when a car crash victim came in. A girl my sister’s age. Panic took over me as the girl’s hair turned from blonde to black, her irises from blue to amber, and she morphed into Akila right before my eyes. There was so much blood and screaming and I wanted so desperately to save her.
In the end, I couldn’t.
What will happen to his body?
“Your poor sister won’t like where I send her.”
I close my eyes and see his, staring at me from across the smoke-filled room, standing beside Jimmy Storm with the comfort an old friend might. Did they know each other?
I can’t get Perry’s face out of my head, twisted in disgust, eyeing me like dirt. Like filth. Then his eyes switch from hazel to dark brown. His blond hair turns black, his face distorts, and suddenly my dad is staring at me with his lips curled in contempt.
My body vibrates with anger and sorrow, both emotions racketing through me, shaking me back and forth. With both men, I was so weak. I allowed them to make me feel less. . . Less of a person, of a doctor. Less knowledgeable. Less worthy. Less clever. Less sane.
Less.
Less.
Just fucking less.
I glare at the door as it opens, feeling wild with pent up madness. Pent up craziness. Bronson steps inside and I lunge from the mattress, needing to unleash it all. It’s his fault! If he had have just stayed in the District. Stayed away. Perry would still be alive, and I would be blissfully ignorant of the lies and deceit around our relationship. Ignorant to his connection to Jimmy Storm. . .Fucking Jimmy Storm.My mind rolls with anger. He ruined my Bronson and murdered Perry.
As I hit Bronson’s body, he goes to grab my hands, thinking I’m trying to slap him, but I reach behind him and pull his gun from his jeans. We topple over. Tumbling to the floor, his big body rolls, pinning me beneath him.
Then I press the nose of the gun to his temple.
Time stands still.
Breathing rapidly, we stare at each other, eyes mere inches away, noses brushing, bodies merged completely.
He blinks a few times at me as if for the first time, his expression the same puzzled one he had that first day at the pool.
“Hey,”he says on a breath.
Hot tears blanket my face. “This is your fault! You did this!”
He nods, his nose sliding over mine. “I know.”
“You took me! This is your fault!” I cry, tears blurring my vision of him.