A letter.
I place Clara onto the floor and move over to stare at the paper. Twisting my wedding rings around my finger, I remind myself that he has promised me a future with him.
Cassidy Butcher
I unfold the sheets.
The salty droplets pouring from my eyes slap the white sheet, beading on top of the fresh red ink. I read the pages, the words blurring through my tears. I run my finger over the cursive writing. Then I reach for the pen that created these beautiful words, still with its cap off, and slash a red line straight through the first sentence.
One down.
Max’s letter.
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One for every day I can’t show you with my actions.
I swear I'll never say it again, little one.
M
Max
Four months later
Metal doors scrapthrough metal tracks, revealing the red dirt yard and hundreds of incarcerated bastards with no one to impress but each other. That's a sad and dangerous fucking reality. The stale heat is thick as I stride through it. Some men glance my way with stiff nods while others cast their eyes low.
Some of them laugh and mock and beat their chests because there is fuck all else to do and it feels good to be noticed. They would never admit it, but it's the lingering feeling of neglect they feel behind these walls that slowly dissolves their person. It's the world of free people so fucking close their presence can be heard - their cars, their horns, their music. It's fucking psychological warfare. These 'badarse' men are reminded every day that they have been left behind.
"Don’t let Butcher hear about him."
At the mention of my name, I stop in my tracks and narrow my eyes on the sack of shit who spoke. "Explain."
"New guy," Jones says, gesturing towards a slender rake-looking dickhead with his head hanging low. He's clearly weak as piss. I bet he's a snitch.
"Rat," Jones confirms, chewing on tobacco with his mouth open.
I crack my jaw, knowing that Jones just wants my permission to start a fight. "Anyone would think your last name is Butcher, Jonesy, with the way you fucking want vengeance for us. Do you wanna suck my dick? Is that what this is all about?"
The six men around him snigger. The belittling sounds make me smile. The lot of them sit casually around their table as though they are out for a drink with the lads after a hard day of making minimum wage. These guys call themselves The District Crew. They're all in here for crimes that took place under our management and orders, but that doesn't mean they matter to me anymore than the wife bashers, paedophiles, and snitches.
There are maybe four men in here that I would consider my friends, a handful that I have a use for, and the rest are lucky I want to get out on good behaviour.
All lucky, except one.
Jones's face falls, the cocky expression he usually throws around faltering. "Just don't like people ratting on us."
"Us?" I scoff with a shake of my head. There is nous, dickhead.
Scowling over at the new rat, I massage my fingers along my tense jaw. He's going to have a hard enough time guarding his virginity; he doesn't need a warning from me.
Catching sight of Lars from across the yard, I make my way over to him. He's near my age, but we don't share facts like that. If we talk at all, it's to say something important. We both have a healthy respect for silence; watching and listening are far more powerful skills to foster.
I suppose, most women would think Lars is a sharp looking man despite the jagged gash running the length of his left eye. The iris is cloudy-blue and redundant but that disability doesn't hold him back.