My breaths come in hard and fast.
Dipping his head, his heavy exhales hit my neck as he whispers, "Don't make me beg, little one."
Trying to control my racing pulse, I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on Max's smell. He smells like sweat and our sheets and home, not like herbs and tobacco. Not like dense, pungent dark clouds of tobacco. This is Max.My Max!
I take a big breath in.
Out.
And I realise, something is wrong with him tonight. Something has happened. He needs me, and it's that need that drags me back to him. I bat my eyes open. He's staring down at me in a world of pain, turbulent and chaotic. Volatile and yet, deeply vulnerable. But Max is never vulnerable.
He needs me.
"What happened?" I whisper, ignoring the chaos in my head. The fear that makes no sense. He presses his forehead to mine, and I feel as though our hearts ache together but for different reasons. Neither of which we can explain to the other. His body vibrates with anger and restlessness around me.
"Just get in the car,” he whispers, his voice deep with emotion. "Please."
Oh God, he is literally begging me. "Shh." I cup the back of his neck, feeling the ridge of his shoulder muscles react. Pulse. They are on fire.
I stroke him soothingly, summoning all my will to remember that this is the man I love. That the fear I'm feeling isn't associated with him. Not at all. Even though that is all true, I can't stop the tremble in my voice. Or the sob that wants to burst out. I can't be there for him tonight. I just can't. Not when it is taking every piece of will I have to not flinch from his touch. To hold his gaze. "I want to spend the night here."
"Why?" he barks, and I immediately recoil.
Growling low at himself, he takes a step backwards as though he's wrestling with something internally. He breathes angrily as he eyes me up and down. Max is often unreadable. For the most part, he doesn't reveal. He's closed off. But not tonight. Tonight he's radiating emotion. Pain. Desperation. Anger. . .Need. He needs me right now for whatever reason and I should-
When Max fists his hands, wincing ever so slightly, my attention shifts to his clenched fingers, the bruising on them visible even in the gathering night. The bruising from punching someone. I lift my hand and touch the remnants of the bruise under my eye.
He looks at me, brows weaving with confusion. With anguish. "I'm sorry, little one. I just need to know why you're still here? Why didn't you get Carter to take you home?" he asks roughly.
I breathe slowly, craning my neck to catch the intensity in his eyes. I want to say, 'But I am home'. The words seem to burn my throat because maybe. . . I'm not. "You know things aren't right with me. Something huge happened to me -"
He bares his teeth, leaning down to press his cheek to mine. "What happened to you is making me murderous, little one. I assure you, I haven't forgotten."
I shake my head. "I just need to process it, Max."
He grabs the top of my arms and squeezes lightly - a warning.Controlling. "You made me want this, Cassidy." His voice deepens. "Now you think you can just take it away?"
My shoulders move as I take shallow breaths in and out.
Erik's body cages me. "I want to take something from him."
I squeeze my eyes shut, holding them like that as I fight the onslaught of Erik's memory. "I'm not taking anything away from you, Max," I say, my voice choked. "I promise. I love you-"
My eyes fly open while his narrow at the sound of my sister's voice. "Get your hands off her, Max!"
And Max's resolve shatters.
Detonates.
I don't think Flick understands that our thing is our thing and people can't get in the middle of it without being torn apart. Max tightens his grip on me as if she were physically prying me from his hold.
Bending his head to the side, his eyes burn, piles of embers being stoked by her presence. His body unmoving, he hisses, "Walk back inside, Felicity, or they'll never find your body."
Oh my God!
Something inside me snaps.
I shove at his wall-like body, barely making an impression in his chest, completely ineffective in shifting him. He turns his head to frown down at me.