I bit down on my lower lip. "Anyway, then I feel his hands touching me, running up the side of my dress, and he's cupping my breasts." I sigh. "Then I feel him slip his fingers between my dress ..." My breath catches.
"Oh, Alice ..."
I look at her, and I shake my head. "Then his hand is on my panties, and I'm just staring at him. And I want to say no, but I can't. Because I can't speak, and ..."
"Oh my God ... What happened?"
"Then the door bursts open, and I see Foster. He's screaming, and he's shouting. He grabs this guy, and the guy's on the ground, and he is shouting, and he is cussing. And Foster grabs me, pulling me into his arms, and he just keeps asking me, 'Are you okay? Are you okay?' And I nod. I want to say that he's my savior, but I just pass out."
"Oh my God. Did the guy give you roofies?"
I nodded. "I'm pretty sure that's what happened. When Foster and I talked about it later, he said my reaction was so fast and so extreme that it seemed like it was a lot more than just being drunk for the first time."
"Oh my gosh ... I'm so sorry." Molly rubbed my shoulder. "That sounds horrible."
"It was. Anyway, I wake up the next morning, and I'm in Foster's dorm room. I'm sleeping on his bed, and he's lying on the ground next to me. He's checking to make sure I'm okay. And then once he realizes I'm okay, he tells me off. And of course I understand.
"Then he says, 'Why did you do this? Why would you make such a stupid decision?' And I told him it was for him."
"No way!" She gasped. "You did? What did he say?"
"He started laughing. He thought I was joking. And then he realized I was being serious. And he looked aghast, and he said, 'You're Rosalie's best friend, and you're still in high school. No, this could never work.'
"I started crying. And he got on the bed and he hugged me and he kissed me on the cheek. And I've never felt so warm and protected in my life, you know?"
"Oh wow. It sounds like he's a really good guy, though."
"He really is," I said with a nod. "But then it gets a little bit worse."
"Oh shit. What happened?"
"So then I started kissing him."
"No way."
"I mean, I figured maybe he liked me. Maybe he's just scared of his feelings because he came and protected me. He's holding me and hugging me and trying to make me feel better. So we kissed. At first, he's kissing me back. It's so good, and it feels so right. And I feel like I'm in love.
"I'm staring into his eyes, and the way he was looking at me, I thought to myselfthis man loves me. And then he pulls away from me."
"Oh I'm so sorry, Alice."
"It's okay. I mean, I was far too young, and he was a good guy. And he says, 'We can't do this, Alice.'
"And I said, 'Yeah, we can. Let's do this. I want to. It's not like last night.'
Then he jumps up. He runs his hands through his hair, he leaves the room, and he goes into the shower. And me, like an idiot, I take off all my clothes."
Molly's eyes widened once again. "You what?"
I nod. "Yep. Because stupid teenage me thought that was going to be a great idea. So I'm lying in his bed, and I'm naked. And he comes back about ten minutes later in a pair of shorts with a towel around his shoulders. And his hair is wet, soaking wet. And he's like, 'You want to take a shower, and then I'll drive you home?'
"And I was like, 'Come here.'
"And he comes over to me, and he's like, 'Is everything okay?'
"And I say, 'No.' And I pull him down onto the bed. I started kissing him again, and he kisses me back. And I think to myself, 'This is it. He can't resist.'
"I reach up, and I run my finger through his hair. And the sheet slips down, and I feel his damp skin against my breasts. He freezes, and I can see this look of panic in his eyes."