"Yeah, he's hot." She grinned. "If I wasn't with Oliver, maybe I'd be with Vin Diesel."
"Oh yeah, because you could totally get Vin Diesel."
"Hey, if you can get Brad Pitt, I can get Vin Diesel." We both giggled again because we knew we had as much chance of getting an A-list star as we did of getting a prince. "Okay," she said. "Age range?"
"I do prefer them older. So…"
"Alice, I swear to God. If you say forty to forty-five, I will kill you."
"I'm not going to say forty to forty-five." I glared at her. "Who do you think I am?"
"I don't know. But all the guys you're listing are old as fuck."
"They're not super old. And those are famous guys. It's not like I'm getting any of them.” Though I knew I would go to fifty if it meant a shot with George Clooney. Not that I was going to tell her that. He was married, and I didn’t want her to think I’d be a mistress or anything.
"True. So age range?"
"I don't know, twenty-four through forty."
"Girl. You are not dating a forty-year-old."
"Why not? Older guys are hot."
"Older guys who date younger women are creepy. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear it."
"What?" I gaped at her. “What do you mean I don't want to hear it? It's not like I've dated a forty-year-old guy before.”
“I know you haven't, but I'm just saying. What forty-year-old man really, seriously wants to be with a twenty-three-year-old woman unless it's just for sex?"
I stared at her. "So you're saying any guy who dates me just wants sex?"
"That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying super old guys...you don't have anything in common with them."
"I have my intellect and—"
"Alice...”
“Fine, twenty-four through thirty-five.”
“Why not your own age?"
"You know guys in their twenties are fucking immature as hell. I’d really rather him be in his thirties."
"Everyone's not immature. Oliver's not immature."
I stared at her for a few seconds, and she made a face that indicated she knew I wasn’t buying it for one second. She forgot I’d grown up with him as well.
"Okay. Sometimes he's immature, but I still love him."
“Yeah, he's a good guy, but he’s definitely still immature."
"You know all men are immature forever. Remember what my grandpa was doing at that Christmas party a couple of years ago?"
"Oh, the one where he was feeling up your grandma's leg?"
"Yeah. And remember how he put a whoopee cushion down, and my dad sat on it, and my dad was all mad?"
"Oh my gosh, your dad is such a grump." I giggled.