“I guess this is what a real relationship is like. Even an unconventional one.”
“I think it’s called maturity, but what do I know?”
“You know,” She pauses to yawn. “plenty.”
After less than three minutes of silence, she’s completely out. I nod to myself. Bathed in her perfume and warmth, it doesn’t take me long to fall into a dreamless sleep either.
When I wake up, Juliana is already getting dressed. I watch over my morning wood as she pulls an appropriate dress over her bra and underwear. “You putting on clothes is the worst thing I could imagine.”
She jumps and looks at me. “Why? It’s a nice dress.”
“It shows off your curves in a shockingly professional way, but I prefer stripping you, doll.” She gives me a weak smile.
I can tell she’s done minimal makeup which means she’s preparing to cry.
“Get up, old man!” Gio yells. “We have places to go.”
“He’s right, handsome.” Juliana pulls me out of bed. “As much as I’d like to drown my sadness by losing myself in you, we have a date I can’t miss.”
“With your father?”
She shakes her head slowly and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “With my mom.”
That’s all it takes to get me out of her room and into fresh clothes. I chug a cup of coffee and the four of us go to the cemetery. Juliana leads us up a hill under a gorgeous oak tree. Patricia stands there with sunglasses on. There are fresh flowers on Rose Giovani’s grave, but that doesn’t stop Juliana from adding to it.
Patricia takes her hand. “Are you going to tell her about the new business? The new men?”
Juliana shakes a little and swallows. “I think she already knows this year.”
“Of course, she does, honey.” Patricia hugs her. “And she’s proud of you. Can’t you feel it? How much she loves you? How happy she is for you?”
Juliana nods, then the tears start. I dab at my own eyes and take a few steps back. I’m not built for this. I’m not prepared for it. I’m no good at it. I clear my throat and glance at the guys. “Anyone a specialist in this relationship area?”
Gio swallows and I can see tears misting over his eyes. Konstantin pats his shoulder. We stand there together while Juliana mourns her mother with her best friend at her side. We have her back, as soon as she’s ready.
19
JULIANA
Patricia hugs me again after we both have a therapeutic cry with my mom. I touch her headstone. Despite the chill of the stone, I feel warm here. I feel good and complete. I couldn’t ask for more. I feel at peace with Mom and lucky to have my best friend and all three of my men with me today.
Patricia squeezes me. “We can run away together. Didn’t your mom have a bucket list of places for you to travel?”
“She did. We haven’t done Key West yet,” I murmur.
“You mean the one at Disney doesn’t count?” Patricia gasps.
We both laugh through our tears and I wipe at my eyes. “Maybe tomorrow.”
We say the same thing every year with a different destination. But something keeps me from going. Not something – a certain person missing. I sigh and bite my lip. I know I’m stalling. I don’t normally last fifteen minutes here, but today I don’t want to leave.
Something rolling in my stomach says not to go see my father, but I can’t stop myself. It has to happen. I know that. If I don’t go to him, he’ll come to me and that will absolutely be worse. I take another unsteady breath as my heart tries to leap into my throat.
Charlie whimpers in my bag. I reach in and pet both my dogs. “My babies, you two are doing well. Thank you.”
Patricia turns me to face her. “Turn off your phone and hide at my place.”
“I will ... after the world’s shortest meeting with my father.”