Konstantin sets Charlie in my lap and strokes my head. He heads to the front door and Gio stands. “What are you doing?”
“Putting those two in their place. Fear is a powerful motivator.”
“And?” Gio demands.
“They’ve seen me kick ass and have both seen my temper.”
With that, he closes the door. I try to think if I’ve seen Konstantin show his temper. He showed me what happens when he gets jealous – amazing things for me, obviously. But I’ve never seen him truly angry. I know he drew a gun on my father.
“Him? He’s a teddy bear.” Max points at the door.
I hold my hand up. “Let him take care of this. They’re part of the Volkov clan, and so is Konstantin. Let him handle it.”
The guys soften and I go to the kitchen to clean the dishes. I need to do something. Gio comes up next to me and gently touches my lower back. “How are you, babe?”
“I have Gemma, so I’m good.”
Gio glances at the knife I’m holding and chuckles. “Gemma’s a classic. A present for college, right?”
“Yeah. Mom let me pick her out.” I stare at the knife for a long moment, then take a slow breath. Max comes over and doesn’t say a thing about Gio touching me, about him rubbing my lower back in slow circles. “She would know what to do right now. No one would have to die. It would just take one conversation.”
“She was a unique woman.” Max agrees. “I was convinced she could bring about world peace.”
“I missed those genes or lessons.” I shake my head and go back to washing the dishes.
“You have your own way of doing things, Juliana. That’s the point of being a person. Finding your own way.” Gio comforts.
I close my eyes. My emotions just keep bouncing around. It’s wild. From horny to happy to angry to upset. I’m kicking myself because I feel like I should be over this. It’s been years! I should be over losing my mom, but I just can’t deal with this stress without her.
“Excuse me,” I whisper to the guys.
I go to my room with Charlie and Nolan and sit behind my door so they can’t come in. It’s a habit I’ve had since I was little. I rub my dogs and pet them while trying to swallow my tears. I can’t mourn things I’ve never had, right? I never asked my mom for relationship advice. I never asked her how to deal with someone who was threatening my life.
But right now, I just keep thinking that she’d have the answer. She’d know just what to say to fix everything and make me feel better. She’d be glowing with pride knowing that things have happened between Gio and me. She always wanted that.
I think she’d be slyly excited for me to be with Konstantin too. She was the one who sat me down and told me that I was too young for Konstantin then. That it would hurt both of us and that it was wrong until I turned eighteen.
We’d argued about that. I’d stomped my foot and said I was an adult – terrible looking back considering I was only sixteen – and that I shouldn’t have to wait two years for the government to approve of who I was with.
But I could see that little sparkle in her eyes whenever Konstantin would blush and look away from me. It was like she knew that he had feelings for me before I did.
I grip my hair and try to control my breathing.
“How was she, Max?” Gio asks.
“It’s been a rough day. We talked for a while and played some games. A lot of talking, honestly.”
“That’s normal if you like someone,” Gio says.
“For you. I don’t know how to do this shit. She deserves more,” Max says. “But I’ll worry about that once we finish with this hitman shit.”
“You don’t need to worry. Just start small – say what you’re thinking and it gets easier to share the harder stuff,” Gio says.
I’m mildly surprised that they’re having a civil conversation, especially with me involved, but I look up as if my mom can see me. “Maybe we’ll all make each other better. And maybe I won’t have to choose.”
I cross my fingers and hear the door open and shut. Konstantin is back, all my men in one spot, and now time to start the world’s most tense sleepover.
11