“I can stay. Screw the job and-”
“No. You play the long game. Keep playing it. I know you want to take over the company Gio, and that’s important to you,” She says softly. “Just ... come check on me in the morning or tonight or whatever.”
I nod but hate myself a little as I walk out. I’m always delivering bad news and she doesn’t even know that I played a role in getting the hit put on her to begin with. All I had to do was let one paper slip. It’s not like Uncle Tony couldn’t afford it. I’m just too eager to take over like my family used to talk about.
My priorities need some re-evaluating.
8
JULIANA
Max sits next to me after tossing his blazer to the side. His arm wraps around me, then I’m against his hard chest. He gently strokes my back. “Don’t go.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You deserve to mourn how you want to. I lost my parents young, too young to understand and when I finally did understand, everyone wanted to tell me how to get over it or through it.”
I slowly look up to meet his eyes. I had no idea. Then again, Max and I really haven’t had many talks. I used to see him at Dad’s parties. Sometimes at the horse track, but he’d always kept his distance. And since he stopped doing that, it’s been flirting and sex. All fun all the time.
“People called me heartless when I lost my grandmother – the woman who raised me – because I didn’t cry. But I was taught that I wasn’t supposed to. I had to take care of things and take care of others who were crying and in pain.”
“That’s not fair to you, Max.”
“Fair is like unicorns, doll – not real.” He kisses my temple. “I will take the blame entirely. Gio can keep his position, but if you don’t want to go, if you can’t bare to get out of bed, I’m not going to make you and I’ll be here to protect you from whatever, hitman, dad, I don’t care.”
I sniff. “You know, there are times when I think he doesn’t miss her at all.”
“Juliana.” He admonishes.
“I know that you know my Dad better than most, but he never even reacted to her death. He just kept working. He didn’t even go to the hospital until after the meeting was over and then ... he treated her death like an inconvenience, Max.”
“We aren’t built knowing how to deal with our feelings.”
“Did he even love her?”
“Of course he did.” Max smooths my hair back. “He loved your mother and helovesyou. Mr. Giovani is a man who doesn’t want to let anyone in. He never has from what I hear. His other friends say they thought he hated your mother at first, but then they were dating.”
“That’s messed up.”
“I know.” Max strokes my cheek. “He shows his emotions one way and you show them another, Juliana. Don’t let him take that from you.”
“I can’t even talk with him. I can’t be alone with him without being afraid. It’s not just his emotions he doesn’t know what to do with.” But I feel like I have to be careful what I talk about with Max.
He’s my father’s friend first. His most trusted, best friend. So I don’t want to run my mouth, have him let something slip, and be in twice as much trouble. Feelings are one thing, words and actions are another. My father might not recognize the damage words and impulsive punishments can do, but I do. I live it. I do my best to survive it.
“Let me in, Juliana.”
“We’re just fun. You’ve said that.”
“I don’t think I ever used the word ‘just’ with you.” He keeps staring deep into my eyes.
I tremble at the mere idea of spilling my soul to the man in front of me. Max’s face softens. “You never have to open up to me, but you can. I’m very good at secrets.” He winks.
“Yeah, that’s really comforting.”
“I will tell you almost anything, Juliana. Because I know what you’ll do with it. You’ll do the right thing with the information given, whether that’s keeping it quiet or sharing it in the right way.”
“Don’t you know, I’m just an impulsive party girl.”