I didn’t care, though. And even though I knew Naomi would have dozens of questions for me later, I couldn’t be bothered to worry about that, either.
I barely even heard her response, in fact. I was already nearly to the back staircase when I turned and nodded absently behind me.
“Thanks,” I called out, trusting that she would understand.
Hopefully.
Later.
I took the stairs two at a time, only pausing when I got to the top and was finally standing in front of Brady’s door. Did I even know what I was going to say when and if I saw him?
No. No, I didn’t.
But that didn’t matter. I’d think of something. Or I’d just apologize, and hope Brady didn’t hate me after our earlier conversation.
The important thing was that Ispoketo him—the specifics weren’t as important.
I just wanted Brady to know that he wasn’t alone. Not as alone as he thought he was, anyway. Not as long as I was around.
Before I could stop myself or talk myself out of it, I knocked. And waited.
Andwaited.
Just when I’d nearly convinced myself that Brady actuallydidhate me and never wanted to see or speak to me again, the door opened.
“Brady, thank goodness.” I shook my head.Wrong. “I mean… hi. Can we talk? Just for a minute?”
I nibbled my lip as I waited for a reply.
Brady’s eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks looked damp from crying. I felt a new surge of guilt at the way our conversation had gone and wanted nothing more than to take him into my arms and tell him everything was going to be okay.
Except by the way he was silently standing there, still not replying, I wasn’t sure if I could make that assumption. Maybe everythingwasn’tgoing to be okay between us.
Brady looked as if he might finally say something, but instead just sighed and nodded, stepping aside to let me into the small apartment.
I gratefully hurried inside, wanting to put some space between myself and the door just in case he suddenly changed his mind. At the very least, I wanted enough time to get an apology in.
I’d been so focused on making sure Brady was okay that it took me a few seconds to notice how different the apartment looked. I had only been up there a handful of times over the years, but I sucked in a sharp breath at the changes.
It didn’t feel cramped anymore, the way it always had when it had been stuffed with Henry’s old furniture and papers and books. Now, it was nearly empty. The couch and small round dining table were the only reminders that Henry had ever even lived there.
I knew it was only a matter of time before those reminders were gone, too.
“Not much left,” Brady said, as if he’d been reading my mind again. “Did you wanna sit down?”
I nodded. My nerves had been momentarily pushed aside by the surprise of seeing the bare apartment, but when Brady and I sat down on the threadbare sofa, just inches away from each other, those nerves returned with full force.
I was struck again by just howbigBrady was. His tall, wide frame, with his massive expanse of chest, huge biceps, and hands—hands that I just wanted to take in my own—all seemed strangely out of place in the small space, almost comical as he tried to get comfortable on the old, brittle sofa next to me.
“I just, um, wanted to…” I looked away for a moment as my voice trailed off.
Wanted to what, exactly? Should I admit that I just needed to check on Brady? To just benearhim, even if only for a few minutes? Maybe that truth could wait a little longer.
“I wanted to apologize. For earlier. I probably shouldn’t have—”
“No,” Brady said, flatly.
My gaze snapped back to his, waiting for him to say something—anything—else, but he simply shook his head.