‘Do you never tire of chasing after women my friend?’
‘No, I am inexhaustible in that regard and this one I’ll have on her back in no time at all.’
‘It is unfortunate then that you have to forgo your pleasure and do your duty. You must leave for Cailleach now,’ Duncan replied firmly, a smile breaking out at the crestfallen look on Rory’s face. It broke the tension in him a little and he breathed in deeply, feeling his shoulders sag and his neck muscles unclench.
Aye, very well and you, what will you do?’
‘I will join you once Ailsa is recovered. Why doesn’t she wake? I cannot stand out here all day waiting.’ Duncan started kicking the ground.
‘She fainted is all. She has some cuts and bruises but nothing serious. Let her rest awhile as her mind is hysterical after that terrible ordeal then, God willing, Ailsa will be herself again.’
Duncan sighed heavily, tired to his bones, the sense of doom which had dogged his steps for weeks suddenly lying heavier upon him.
‘I’ll ready the men,’ said Rory turning to go.
‘Rory,’ Duncan called after him, ‘she was frightened of me. When I went to her I saw it in her face.’
‘No…no Duncan.’
‘Either way, I think she is lost to me. She neither wants nor trusts me and she never will.’
‘Look, Duncan, I never saw you back down from a fight in your life so don’t disappoint me, my friend, by starting now. Remember that you deserve happiness and that happiness is right there for the taking,’ said Rory, gesturing to the upper window where Ailsa slept away her horrors. ‘But you need to go gently not barge in and bark at her. Just try not to be your usual self.’
‘I’ll try Rory.’ Duncan threw his arms around his friend and they embraced roughly. ‘Thank you for all you have done for me. Take care on the road and forgive me for depriving you of the inn keep’s daughter.’
‘No matter, I may try and persuade her to come along with me for, unlike you, I can be completely irresistible when I turn my mind to it.’
Duncan stood quietly for a while longer and then hearing voices from the inn gathered his courage and took the stairs to Ailsa’s room.
Ailsa stirred from her troubled slumber to find herself lying in a dark and tatty room, roughly and sparsely furnished. Her thoughts seemed to whirl around and she could not focus them very well. She vaguely remembered running from the wolves and Duncan reaching for her. All she wanted to do was sleep and fall back into oblivion but she forced herself to sit up slowly. There were tentative birdcalls outside, the soft unravelling of silence as the world hung between night and day. All was so peaceful and yet the events of her life these past weeks had been anything but.
The door creaked open slowly and then Duncan was in the room, his presence immediately filling it. He loomed over her at the end of the bed. She was not ready for the emotions surging through her at the sight of him. Relief and longing battled with fear and shame. She wanted to run into his arms and be comforted but could not bear the thought of rejections so clenched her hands together, staring helplessly down at the dirty broken fingernails and bloody scratches on them, where the moorland had torn at her in her scramble to escape the wolves. Her life must mean something if she was prepared to fight for it, a fight that would have ended in death were it not for Duncan.
‘Ailsa look at me.’ That smooth, calm voice pulled at her heart and she thought it would beat right out of her chest. A stab of longing went through her as she slowly raised her face to his. Dark shadows undercut his beautiful brown eyes and his jaw was tightly clenched. Ailsa realised he was trying to master his emotions.
‘Are you very angry with me?’ she said tremulously.
‘No I am not angry, I am ashamed.’ He started to speak and the words came out in a rush of feeling, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘I failed you Ailsa. I failed you in the worst possible way. I promised to protect you, asked you to put your trust in me and instead I drove you to run away.’ He clenched his fists into balls. ‘I am sorry for it. I am truly sorry. I know I dragged you kicking and screaming into this marriage, that you only had me in order to protect your brother. I have forced myself on you and I have never learnt how to curb my temper and my rough ways. Worse than this I let myself be led by my uncle’s poison and I did not see clearly what was right before me.’
‘The world is full of more worthy men than I, who could make you happy. And I would not bind you to me should you wish to be free. Go to Morag or one of your other sisters if you want and I swear I will relinquish all claim on you. I would do that for you though… in truth…Ailsa…my life is dust without you.’
‘Duncan...’
‘Stop Ailsa and let me say what I have to say. I must face my actions and be accountable for them. Forgive me, please, for not trusting you. I was angry about Hamish and indeed I have always been a jealous fool when I have seen you together. So my uncle’s words, well they seemed to confirm what I had feared all along, that you did not want me and you never would. It was torture to be around you feeling as I did so I have avoided you these past weeks and I have been cruel I know that now.’
He began to pace up and down the room. ‘Have you any notion of how worried I was when I returned to Cailleach to find you gone? That you had run away from me.’
Ailsa felt she had to say something, to stop him going on. ‘How did you find me?’
‘One of the men fell in a gully while hunting and broke his leg forcing us to return early to Cailleach. When I realised you had gone, search parties were sent out in all directions looking for you though I thought it most likely you had gone to Morag. We encountered Fingal in the midst of the storm running riderless through the woods and I was beside myself thinking what could have happened to you. When we heard the howl of the wolves we followed it and lucky we did.’
‘Did…did anyone get hurt fighting off the wolves.’
‘No, I killed the one nearest you and the others ran away when we approached. I would have cut them all down if I had the chance.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Ailsa, how could you go away from me like that?’
‘I had to. You were so cold and angry and you believed the lies about Hamish and I. He did kiss me in the chapel but I was appalled by it. I did not want it as my feelings for him have never gone beyond friendship and they never will. You do believe me?’
Duncan let out a breath that he had been holding in. ‘Aye, I was a complete fool for thinking it and when I found you gone I realised that even if you did betray me it simply does not matter because I love you and I will never be able to stop loving you no matter what you do.’