“I know,” he says, letting me see right down into his soul and I realize that while he doesn’t fear Lucien, he fears for his family. I drop my forehead to his and he runs his hand up my back. “I fucked up, Sky. I never should have agreed to play his games.”
“When it comes to Lucien Valentine, you don’t have a choice. He decides who plays his games and you just have to hope that you come out of it unscathed.”
He pulls me in closer and I struggle to breathe, terrified of what this could mean. “I’m going to make it up to you,” he promises me. “There’s something about you, Sky. I like you.”
“Don’t,” I say with a frustrated groan. “I need you to hate me.”
“Why?” he says, bringing us right back there again yet this time, explaining myself seems to come a lot easier. “Because it’s easier to hate you. When you’re trying to intimidate me, I forget that the world sucks, and when I’m screaming at you, the pain fades away,” I lower my voice, terrified of it breaking. “When I see you at the other end of the hall with your eyes locked on mine and that look on your face that tells me to run, I forget how bad it hurts and the fear disappears. You take away the memories of my mom’s blood, you take away the echoing screams that repeat in my head, you take away the sickening feel of his hands on my body. You’ve been like a drug to me, Slade, and I can’t risk losing that. I won’t. I’m not kidding, I need you to hate me, I need it so damn bad.”
He shakes his head and it tears me apart. “I can’t do that, Virago,” he whispers. “I can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t.”
“I’m not the girl for you, Slade,” I tell him, seeing exactly what he’s wanting and doing my best to warn him away. I pull back from his touch and climb off his lap, trying to give myself some room to think. “I’m all sorts of fucked up.”
Slade gets up and steps into me, brushing his lips over my forehead. “No, you might have had some fucked up things happen to you, but you’re not broken. You’re fucking beautiful.” My eyes drop to the floor and he finally starts to retreat to the door. “I meant what I said,” he murmurs, making my eyes flick back up to him. “I’m going to make it up to you. I’ll deal with Lucien another way, but from now on, you don’t have to worry about me sneaking into your room.”
I press my lips into a hard line, wondering if him sneaking into my room would really be an awful thing. “Then I guess you don’t have to worry about turning blue during your games.”
He smirks and something brightens within me. “That was fucking good.”
I roll my eyes, though still very proud of my achievement. “Just go before I change my mind and do something to really fuck this up.”
Slade winks and I turn into a mess as he walks out the door, making sure to pull it closed behind him.
I drop to the floor and try to catch my breath as I work out what the hell just happened, but one thing is for sure, Slade Cruz is no longer the enemy.
Chapter 20
I peel myself out of bed on Saturday morning feeling oddly refreshed. Despite the threat of Lucien looming over me, I slept like a baby and what’s more, my hand isn’t numb from clutching my knife. I haven’t slept like that since…well, years.
I stretch my arms out over my head and make my way toward the bathroom, only a knock at the door stops me.
The knock sounds again before a cringeworthy voice comes sailing through the door, muffled from the wood. “I know you’re in there,” Damian calls. “Hurry up and open the damn door.”
The fuck? What does he want? It’s way too early for this shit, it’s like…actually, I have no idea what time it is but either way, early morning wake up calls are another thing I don’t appreciate.
I consider leaving him out there while I pee but I’m smart enough to realize that will only result in him sneaking around the house and climbing through a window. Knowing my luck, it’d be the bathroom window while I’m peeing.
I groan and continue up the hall, making my way to the door. He knocks again as his impatience gets the best of him. “Yo, Skylah, open this motherfucking door,” he calls loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
“Chill out,” I yell back, reaching for the lock, distantly realizing that I didn’t have to step over a passed-out body in the hallway and wonder what the hell happened to Blake. Hell, I’m even left wondering where Shay and Ben are. I must be home alone because if I wasn’t, Ben would have this turd in a headlock by now. “I’m coming.”