Dark eyes closed, mouth open, head thrown back.
Lost in ecstasy.
CHAPTER FIVE
ROSALIA
It bothered me that Peregrine was so casual about getting married. I was terrified. My heart hammered in my chest at odd intervals and at least once a week I would wake up in the night and lie there as it echoed like a drum in my ears.
I wasn’t ready for this. But perhaps it was better than staying.
My home life wasn’t awful. My family left me to my own devices most of the time and that was good enough. Once upon a time I would have killed to receive the attention and care my brothers got, but I’d quickly learned I wasn’t going to get it.
When my brothers were at the top of their classes and dating the most popular girls at our private school, I was at home buried in a book or locked in the music room. Around twelve it had hit me that there was something fundamentally different about me.
I wasn’t a boy and that put me at a disadvantage.
Girls were an awkward inconvenience and from a young age my brothers shut me out of their world. I was teased relentlessly for anything and everything and I learned fast that opening my mouth in public was a bad idea. Unless I wanted to be openly shamed by one of my brothers, I kept my thoughts to myself. My stepfather and mother didn’t seem to notice this dynamic. Or perhaps they didn’t care enough to correct it.
A few weeks after my engagement was made formal, I went downstairs one morning to find my oldest stepbrother, Federico, arguing with my twin in the kitchen. I skirted around them to pour a cup of coffee and went to take the long way back to my bedroom. Before I could make my escape, Federico turned on me.
“What are you doing, Lia?” he asked flatly.
I froze, swiveling. “Getting coffee.”
“Peregrine is supposed to be here in an hour,” he said. “You look like shit. You might want to go wash your hair or something.”
I was used to it, but his words still stung. I brushed back my hair and wiped the mascara from beneath my eyes.
“I didn’t know he was coming,” I said. “No one told me.”
“Just pay better attention. And yes, we have a meeting with him and then our father has some engagement details to go over,” Federico said. “And he’s staying for lunch.”
“Okay, I’ll go get ready.”
“Try and look like an actual female for once or he’s going to drop you on your ass,” Federico sneered.
I was his personal punching bag and I had been since our parents’ wedding. Marcus, Luca, and Tony could be cruel on occasion, but they never talked to me with the same poison my eldest stepbrother did. I wasn’t sure if Federico was just an evil person or if he had other issues going on that he was taking out on me. Whatever it was, it hurt.
“Please don’t comment on my appearance,” I said coldly, turning and sweeping down the hall.
“He’s going to give you back when he finds out what a fucking bitch you are,” Federico called.
That stung more than I cared to admit. I should have been used to the names that were slung at me, but they still cut deep. Occasionally they were almost affectionate like siblings joking together, but more often they made me question everything.
Was I really a whore? A bitch? A slut? A cunt? That last one had gotten Federico into an argument with my stepfather when he’d hurled it at me. At least there were some things that weren’t permissible.
Forcing myself to remain numb, I went upstairs and showered and did my hair in soft curls. I had nice clothes and I knew how to dress myself, but I liked casual things like sweatshirts and leggings. Fuck Federico. Feeling wrathful, I went into my closet and selected an expensive, lace set of underwear. Then I shuffled through my dresses until one caught my eye.
It was a slender, pencil dress with a lace overlay and a scooped neck. The sleeves came down to my wrist and the hem just brushed my knees. But the color was what stopped me in my tracks. It was a burnt, fiery gold—the color of Peregrine’s eyes.
I slid it on and stepped into beige pumps. I was putting the final touches on my makeup when I heard a car pull up the drive. It was Peregrine’s blue Cadillac and he sat in the front seat with the roof down. The sunlight glinted off his dark hair as he turned to scan the house. His eyes locked with mine and the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk.
He winked.
My heart thudded as I whirled and composed myself. Damn him, he knew what he was doing. My cheeks were hot as I headed down the stairs.
He stood in the hallway, talking easily with all four of my brothers. Feeling awkward and unwanted as usual, I slipped through the hall and entered the kitchen. My mother was plating sandwiches with our housekeeper. When she saw me, she pulled out a chair.