I needed to reassure her, but she was so beautiful when she flushed with shame. Something stabbed right beneath my heart. I’d never had anyone look at me like this. Like I was waiting to offer her the sweetest kind of absolution. I tucked myself back into my pants and leaned down and lifted her onto my lap. Her fists clenched the edges of my open shirt and I swore I could smell how wet she was between her soft thighs.
“You were perfect and I’m so proud of you, angel,” I said.
She dropped her head back, moaning softly, and her hips worked. My cock hardened again as I spat into my hand and slid it between her thighs. She didn’t need the extra wetness—she was drenched. My finger slipped through her folds easily as I gathered her arousal and swirled it around her clit. Teasing her just to watch her writhe.
“Are you going to come on my fingers?” I breathed.
Her lids flickered. “Yes…please.”
“Keep those eyes on me,” I ordered firmly.
She shivered, fixing her bottomless gaze with mine. She was so close I felt the heat from her skin and I saw the tremor of her mouth as I sank two fingers into her and began working her clit with my thumb. She was soaked and her spine arced as her hot muscles pulled me deep. It took minutes to feel her tighten and build around my touch.
There was nothing for a moment but our heavy breaths and the storm raging outside. Then, she shuddered, her lids flickering but not closing, and she came with a sudden gasp. I felt it rush through her, all that desire she’d built up while she’d sucked me off.
It was a glorious kind of ecstasy.
I bent forward and kissed her mouth, tasting faint traces of me on her tongue. She moaned as I bit her lower lip and tugged it gently between my teeth. Into my mind flooded the memory of what I’d said to her at dinner that night. In a second, I was fully hard again.
“Lia, I want to tattoo you.”
Her eyes snapped open. “What?”
“I want my name to be the only name in your mouth,” I murmured, taking her lip in my fingers and tugging it down.
For a moment, I thought I’d gone too far and frightened her in a way that didn’t arouse her. But then she gave a soft gasp and a deep flush crept up her cheeks, staining them pink. There was so much shame in her eyes as she nodded she could barely look at me. I gripped her jaw and kissed her hard. There was a hot swell in my chest.
“You beautiful, sweet thing.”
There was nothing that affected me more than seeing that glazed look of pure adoration on her face. I traced down her cheek, barely touching her flushed skin. My fingertips grazed her jaw reverently. She would let me and she would find a sick enjoyment in it that she wasn’t willing to admit. I could admit it easily. I was a depraved person to my core, but I didn’t see how that was a bad thing if this was what it meant.
“Will you do it for me, angel?”
“Yes.” The word was a hoarse whisper.
I could tattoo—I’d done all my own ink. I took the equipment out of my desk, peeling the plastic away, and had her get down between my knees. When the machine buzzed, she flinched and drew back.
“You can take it,” I said, cradling her head with one hand. “You know how to use your safe word if you need to.”
She nodded, swallowing. Then she gently took hold of her lip and tugged it down, exposing the soft, pink skin to me. For a moment, I hesitated. It was so tender, so untouched. Her eyes were wide, still fixed on the machine. When the skin was dry, I took her head in a firm grip, and touched the needle to her flesh.
She whimpered, but she didn’t pull away. Taking pity on her, I tattooed only my initials into the inside of her lower lip. She knelt there like such an obedient angel and just took the pain while I guided her through it. Whispering words of praise to her lovely face and holding her head with a firm grip to keep her steady.
I wiped her clean and drew back, kissing her forehead. “My angel.”
She beamed, looking up at me with a glazed expression.
The spell broke. My stomach clenched—it was too much. She was too close, we were too intimate. I couldn’t feel this way about a woman I was willing to trade for an alliance, a woman I’d been paid to marry. She shuddered and her eyes held to mine, expectant. Waiting for me to whisper praise, to lavish all the endless attention she craved on her. But somehow, there was nothing in me to give.
Instead, I pulled her to her feet.
“Go to bed,” I said shortly.
She stood there, her arms wrapped around her body. Her throat bobbed and her eyes glistened in the dim light. Were her lashes wet? It was hard to tell, but there was a distinct glitter to them. I fought the temptation to pull her back into my lap.
Touching her like that was a mistake I’d let go on for far too long. I wasn’t that sort of man, I never had been. I needed to keep a wall between us because even though we didn’t love each other, I still had to protect her. I had to keep her safe because no one had ever done that for me.
I had to stand between her and the darkness.