Chapter Eighteen
Pistachio, Strawberry, and Lemon instantly made themselves at home in Iz’s motel room, which was to say that the second she changed out of her black pants and dared to lay them on the bed, all three fluffalo snuggled up there and began shedding candy-colored fur everywhere.
So much for wearing those again anytime soon. Theo had packed a lint brush for her—of course he had—but she suspected it would takeseveraldiligent applications of it before her black pants looked remotely black again.
“I was just going to take a short nap before dinner,” she said to the fluffalo. “I was going to put them back on.”
They made contented lowing sounds, like sleepy cows, and somehow began to shed even more.
Iz decided to write off that particular pair of pants. She stripped down to her underwear, slid into bed—
—and instantly failed to even remotely fall asleep.
This was the bed where she’d had sex with Logan. The pillow he’d slept on still smelled like him.
That sex had been like nothing she’d ever experienced before. Her handful of boyfriends, shifter or human, had always held back with her, treating her like she was fragile—even when they should have known better. Sure, she had liked being cherished sometimes, but she’d also wanted the chance to let go and to feel everything without having to hold back.
For years, Iz had struggled with the feeling that the world was trying to shove her into a box she didn’t really fit into.
You look delicate, so you’resupposedto be delicate.
You’re still young, so you’re not supposed to know what you’re doing.
You’re a silly, spoiled little girl who doesn’t understand how the world works.
That last one always came in her father’s voice.
She had always believed—ortriedto believe—thatshewas the one who got to decide who she was, that she knew herself best.
She’d ignored the little whispers in her head that had said otherwise.
Sure, you’re doing just fine at college, but aren’t you really just good at school? Isn’t this just about wanting to impress your professors?
Okay, so you’re top of your class at Glynco. Big deal. It’s nothing but shifter strength and book smarts. You wouldn’t last ten minutes in the field.
Oh, Cooper hired you and even let you start early? You think that matters? He’s just doing you a favor because his mate is friends with your cousin, and you helped him out once. It’s not like he really thinks you’re qualified.
She had gone on for quite a while, like walking on a tightrope strung over a pit, because therehadbeen a tightrope. Nothing had conclusively proven—yet—that she wasn’t the person she thought she was.
And then came Randolph Sebastian, in all his terrible glory. She had followed her instincts, she had believed in herself, and Sebastian had trapped her in a cave for a month.
Her dragon cleared its throat with a dignified little puff of smoke.
And then, it pointed out,we escaped, with the help of our mate. And then we claimed our mate and were claimed in return. I humbly submit that you’re overthinking this.
You don’thumblydo anything, Iz said.
But it was possible—maybe—that her dragon was right. Maybe she still had a chance to prove herself. Getting captured by Sebastian hadn’t beengood, obviously, but maybe it just canceled out her early hire and left her with a blank slate.
Just like Logan leaving her to wake up alone had canceled out their night together, and just like him asking her out to dinner now might be canceling out him leaving.
Are you doing math?her dragon said incredulously.
Iz pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes.
Shut up, she groaned in her head.Leave me alone. I just got back in this body, you should give me a little space.