Being trappedto my headboard all night gave me time to think. Realize how stupid I am. I can’t believe I forgot Lincoln’s dad is gone. In all honesty, I think I just had so much going on, I couldn’t see past the fog of my own dilemma to make any rational decisions.
But does it really change anything? Technically, he is still my uncle, but… Part of me doesn’t care if he is. The sick part of my brain only found the forbidden nature of the situation that much more intoxicating. But the part of my brain that does think clearly doesn’t care because I love him. We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with. Who makes us feel safe. Who makes our demons seem less inferior. We don’t get to pick who is the missing piece of our soul, the jagged edges that makes us whole.
Using Siri, I was able to call Macy. She came over, her eyes wide when she saw me tied to the headboard, shredded clothes on my body. “Damn, girl. Whatever kinky shit you’re into, I need three, please.”
Obviously, I couldn’t tell her. And trying to deter her from the subject was tricky. But with some coffee and shopping, I was able to distract her from the subject. For now.
I am on edge all day today. About seeing Lincoln. But turns out, I didn’t have anything to worry about because he was stuck in meetings all day with the school board. Walking into his class and not seeing his grumpy face, left me feeling empty. Because even though he is forbidden, I find comfort in being able to look at him from afar.
I stuff my journal in my bag, gathering my things for Thanksgiving break. He gave us homework over the break via the sub. No one is happy about it. It’s cruel and so him. Something—me—must have pissed him off good for us to endure this punishment.
I’m walking down the hallway when I hear my name being called. I open the door to be assaulted by flashing lights. I freeze, mouth wide open as cameras are shoved in my face, a thousand questions hurtled at me, but one makes my anxiety skyrocket. “Callum, what do you have to say about being Governor Collin’s biological daughter?”
“Shit,” Macy whispers beside me. “This is what I was trying to tell you.”
I stand frozen, in shock—fear, maybe. I can’t get my mouth to speak words, my legs to move.
“Can you confirm this is a copy of your birth certificate?” One reporter flashes a paper at me.
“Callum, did you know the governor was your father before your mother married him?” A microphone is shoved in my face.
“I…” A hand wraps around the back of my neck, pulling me back inside.
As soon as the door shuts in front of me, I take a deep breath. “Are you okay?” The fingers flex on my neck, a quick soothing motion for a split second before falling away.
Purple dress shirt and peacock feather print tie lead me to the face I’ve missed so much today. His jaw is set, concern flickering in his eyes as he waits for my response. “They know…” I whisper.
He sighs, looking around the dead hallways. “Come on.”
I follow him out to the teacher parking lot, climbing into his SUV. He doesn’t say anything, just allows the silence to consume me as I watch the city pass, and the empty lands emerge. All I ever wanted was to have my father acknowledge me, but that’s turning out to be worse than when he ignored me.
* * *
I walkinto Lincoln’s room, dropping my things on the floor. I walk over to his bed, wanting to lay in the comfort of his sheets, his scent, but I pause. Hesitating. His presence behind me is comforting as his strong fingers gather my hair, laying it over my shoulder. I close my eyes as he lays light kisses to the nape of my neck. “I’ve missed you.” His hot breath fans across my skin.
My body shudders. I’ve missed him too, but I’m still not sure we should be doing this. “I think…”
“Don’t think. Just feel,” he says, guiding my chest to the bed.
“Lincoln, we need to talk first.”
He groans, his hands traveling down my spine. “Fine.”
I feel his weight leave me and I rise, sinking back onto the bed. I stare at him as he slowly unbuttons his purple dress shirt, already having discarded his tie on the chair. He pulls his shirt back, showing his beautiful chest, his rolls of muscles on his stomach, the sharp, cut V disappearing beneath his slacks. The ravens blaring at me. As if to ask how I could have forever forgotten such an important detail about him. He turns, walking to the closet, back muscles flexing until he’s out of sight. Lord, at least make it fair if I can’t have him.He reappears, a pair of sweatpants slung over his waist, no shirt. And damn it, he’s not playing fair. How am I supposed to concentrate?
He grins, catching me checking him out and I blush, looking to my lap. “What do we need to talk about, Doll Face?”
I pause, peering over to him, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “You’re kidding.”
He lays down next to me, shifting on his side so he can look at me. “No, not really. I’m not the one who had a problem in the first place.”
“We’re related,” I snap.
“No, we really aren’t.”
“By law, we are. And what if the press gets a hold of this. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this but I’m their new favorite topic, what would people think of us?”
“Fuck what the world thinks, Callum. What we think only matters.”