Ryan’s not exactly the kind of guy I spend my time chilling with, but he’s family and if he’s in trouble then you bet I’ll be there, morning and fucking night until I know he’s in the clear.
I pull into the parking lot of the Broken Hill Private Hospital and race inside. I find Aunt Serena quietly sobbing in the corner and I hurry to her side. She looks up at my approach and the second her eyes lock on mine, she gets to her feet and pulls me into a tight hug, desperately needing the touch of a loved one. “How is he?” I ask when she pulls back.
Serena shakes her head, sliding her hand down my arm until she reaches my wrist and gives it a small squeeze. “I really don’t know, Maxi, but it isn’t good. From what I can gather, a drunk driver ran a red light and took Ryan out. He was crushed under the dash and has some pretty severe injuries. He’s in surgery now, but I haven’t heard anything.”
Big, fat tears run down her face and I take hold of her hand before taking the vacant seat beside her. Serena sits down and lets me hold her hand, the same way I used to when I was a kid. “He’s going to be okay,” I tell her. “He’ll make it through this. I know he will.”
Serena nods and we both sit in deathly silence, waiting with anticipation to hear something…anything that will let us know that his heart is still beating.
As I sit here, thinking the worst, I realize just how damn fragile life is. We only get one shot at this and here Ryan is, fighting to be able to live another day. He has so much to live for. He’s yet to fall in love, get married and have babies, he’s hardly even experienced life yet and it might be torn away from him.
What about me? What the hell am I doing with my life? Ryan is a prime example that life is short and some times it’s a shitload shorter than you could ever imagine. So far, I’ve been throwing mine away. I fumbled my way through high school and couldn’t give a shit about college. I’ve been a dick to the people in my life, have no aspirations or even have an inkling of what I want to do with myself.
Who am I? I’m a fucking nobody. If I was in Ryan’s position and my life was ripped away, what are they going to remember when they think of me? Nothing. I’m the guy who everyone feared in high school, the guy the girls wanted to fuck around with for a little fun. I’m the guy that everyone forgets about when they move on to bigger and better things.
I’m eighteen years old and I’m failing myself, yet with all these regrets that continue building up, there’s just one that I keep coming back to, one that will always sit high above the others.
Brooke Fucking Logan.
She’s the girl I’ve loved since high school and I fucked it up big time. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I let her go. Well, I didn’t exactly let her go, I just treated her like a piece of shit and naturally, an incredible woman like that knew her value and wasn’t going to put up with my shit. She left just as she should have and I’ve hated myself for it ever since. Why couldn’t I just pull it together for once in my life?
If anything, tonight has taught me that I need to turn this shit around. I need to make something of myself and I need to make it count. Maybe after all that, I could even manage to get Brooke to happily be in the same room as me. Hell, maybe I could even win her back.
Who am I kidding? She’s too fucking smart to let me anywhere near her again. It seems the only time she does talk to me is when she’s had a few too many drinks, but the second she sobers up, she can’t get away from me fast enough. I really screwed that one up. I hurt her and I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but she does deserve an apology.
Hours pass and I do my best to keep Serena in positive spirits, but the task is impossible. So, when an exhausted doctor comes through the double doors and calls for the Ryder family, relief sails through us. Finally, we’ll get some answers.
Serena flies to her feet with wide eyes and rushes toward the doctor. I follow behind, struggling to keep up with her pace. “Yes,” she says, grabbing hold of the doctor in her desperation. “I’m Ryan’s mother. Please tell me my baby is alright.”