The big question is, why the fuck am I still here? Nothing good could come out of me sitting around to watch this bullshit.
Lukas goes around and formally introduces himself to the group while Brooke hurries into the kitchen to find him a beer. I watch in distaste as all my friends shake his hand, pretending to give a shit about who this guy is out of respect for Brooke, but when he gets to me, I find myself getting to my feet. “I, uh…I’m going get out of here,” I tell the room, managing to make myself sound like a jealous idiot, instantly knowing that Jesse will give me shit for this tomorrow.
“K,” Nate says with a nod as both Tyson and Jesse do the same. “See you later, man.” And just like that, I’m out the fucking door before Brooke has even returned from the kitchen.
I drop down into my car and take a few breaths. That was a fucked up way to end the night. It was a great day and it turned to shit in the blink of an eye. How could I not know that Brooke had started seeing this douchebag? Nate must be dropping the fucking ball not to have mentioned that, but then, what does it matter? It’s not like I make a habit of going out of my way to ask about her, how she’s doing, and if she so happens to be pining over me.
I hit the gas and find myself pulling up at Aunt Serena’s place. It’s been just over two months since the accident and so far, things aren’t going great. Ryan never got movement in his legs and he’s been stuck in bed ever since, still with a long journey of healing ahead of himself. He’s lucky though, he only just escaped with his life. We could have lost him altogether so if losing his ability to walk is the choice over not having him at all, I’d take it a million times over.
Serena was able to get him home care so at least he has that, though I don’t even want to imagine what kind of money she’s spending to have it. It’s worth it as he’s in the comfort of his own home, somewhere he can recover and not have to deal with the usual bullshit that comes with being in the hospital.
It’s creeping close to ten at night but I knew Ryan would still be up playing some ridiculous video game against some dude online. I really don’t get it. Gaming isn’t for me. I’d take real cars over driving them through a screen any fucking day.
I make my way into their home, not bothering knocking at the door. I’ve been here enough to know that standing at the door and waiting for Serena to come and open it is just a waste of my time. I find Serena in her study, working on her latest novel. I say a quick hello then skip up the steps, taking two at a time before barging into Ryan’s bedroom.
“Oh, thank fuck,” Ryan says, dropping his eyes to his floor, not wasting time with the pleasantries. “Get the headset, would you?”
My brows furrow as I glance down to find his gaming headset on the floor, right out of reach. “How’d it get down here?” I ask, picking it up and tossing it back onto the side of his bed, only to have Ryan snatch it up and deposit it on his head as he concentrates on the TV screen.
“I got beat by a fucking twelve-year-old kid and threw it without thinking it through.”
I grin at my cousin, hating how we’re so different. I would love to be close to him like I am with Nate and Jesse, but it’s just not there. Who knows, maybe that’ll be the silver lining that comes from all this shit. After all, I went to the same school as Ryan, yet I’ve talked to him more over the past two months than I’ve ever talked to him before.
I sit at his desk chair and he tosses me a remote so we can pick up where we left off the other night. He hates playing against me as I have no idea what I’m doing, but he does it anyway just because he appreciates me coming by and spending time with him. His other friends from school haven’t been hanging out as much as he’d like and I feel him starting to slip into a depression that has my heart breaking for him.
It’s past midnight when I get back in my car. I jam the key into the ignition and listen to the beautiful purr of the engine just as my phone chimes in my pocket. I pull it out and my heart instantly kicks into overdrive, seeing Brooke’s name on my screen.