“What am I supposed to do? I don’t know what she needs,” I say, trying to skirt over the fact that our past relationship was just outed. “I mean, is this going to last?”
“I can’t tell you if this is going to last or not. Many times it doesn’t. For right now, just so her brain doesn’t have to deal with another trauma, I suggest that everyone go along with the program. Let her brain remember on its own. Once the memories start to come back, it’s a better chance for the synapses in her brain to start putting things together. If she’s going to remember, we need it to be on her own time.” The doctor seems to be stressing the fact that I need to go easy with her. I’ve got no problem doing that. It’s everyone else that I’m worried about.
“How long does something like this usually last? I mean, if she’s meant to get her memories back, how long until we start to see some change?” Hoodrat asks.
“I’d say a couple of weeks, but it could be more or less. Everyone heals differently.” The doctor gives a very noncommittal shrug before he continues to talk to Hoodrat.
I have a million and one questions to ask, but I keep my mouth shut.
Once the doctor gives us his final word, he leaves Hoodrat and me standing there in the hallway.
There’s no use ducking him. I need to be straight with Hoodrat now. I owe him that much respect, at least.
“We weren’t trying to go against you,” I start, and it’s all Hoodrat needs to tip from deadly silent to enraged.
“Weren’t trying to go against me? Are you out of your damn mind? You knew that was my sister and that she was off limits. You knew it from the jump, but still, you couldn’t keep your fuckin’ dick in your pants,” he snarls at me, and I have to hook my thumbs into the belt loops of my jeans to give my hands something to do.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Bullshit, it wasn’t like that. If it was anything else, I would’ve been the first motherfucker you came to with it. That’s not what the fuck happened now, is it? You and my sister decided the best shit to do was to hide it from me.” Hoodrat gets in my face, and instead of letting him have his way, my own fury bubbles to the surface.
He’s got no fucking idea what I went through with her. No idea what I sacrificed. “Come to you? How the hell were we supposed to do that? You weren’t hearing anything when it came to me being with your sister. I cared for her. I still fucking do, but we cut shit off because we knew you wouldn’t approve. She was willing to give up what she wanted to keep the peace with you. Yeah, we could’ve come to you, or we could’ve stayed away from each other to start with, but that’s not what happened. We weren’t trying to hide anything from you. We just knew what would happen if you found out.”
Hoodrat doesn’t respond. He just stares at me before he scrubs his hand down his face and turns away.
“Hoodrat, I’m sorry, man. That’s real.”
“Fuck that. I don’t want your bullshit apology. Doesn’t matter what the reason is or what you say. You were still keeping shit from me. You’re supposed to be my fucking brother. That lying shit isn’t what we’re about. If you wanted things to be different, you would have made it so.” Hoodrat glares at me again before he continues on his way back to the waiting room. This time I let him go.
I fall back against the wall hard, wanting the pain of the thump to break through the numbness.
He thinks I could’ve made things different if I wanted to.
If he only knew how badly I wish I could’ve all those years ago, I’d still have Beretta by my side, and my little girl would be alive.
CHAPTERTWO
Beretta
Bright lights burn against my eyelids. Even with my eyes closed, it seems way too bright in here. I try to roll over to the other side to get away from the intense light, but I can’t. I’m hooked up to something.
I open one of my eyes just a slit and try to find out what I’m tangled in. I’m surprised to see that it’s not my bedsheets, but a wire connected to a machine.
What the hell is going on? Why does my head hurt so bad? I try to sit up, but there’s a mask on my face. When I pull it off, a woman that seems to come out of nowhere stands right at my side.
“Come on now, you know you can’t take that off,” she says with a twinge of annoyance to her tone.
“Who are you?” I croak out. My voice sounds like I haven’t spoken in years. My eyes dart around the room, and I realize that I’m in the hospital, but I don’t remember getting here.
“I’m Sarah, your nurse. Do you know who you are?”
I tilt my head and observe the woman just to see if she’s actually being serious about that question. When she doesn’t crack a smile, I know she is. What could’ve happened where she’d think I don’t know who I am?
“Yes, of course, I know who I am. I’m Beretta. Where is my brother? Where’s Hoodrat?” I look around the room for a sign that either my brother or my boyfriend is somewhere nearby. I’m sure they are unless they don’t know that I’m here. “They know I’m here, right?” I raise my head to catch the nurse’s gaze.
“Yes, they know. I’ll let them and the doctor know that you’re awake and asking for them now.” Sarah smiles, and after checking on the machinery by the bedside, she walks out of the room. Once I’m alone in the room, I let my head fall back on the pillow, and a wave of agony washes over me. I’ve never had a headache this severe in my entire life. I guess that’s why the nurse was so concerned with me, not knowing who I was.
Doing a bit of exploration, I use my fingers to press along the tender areas of my scalp. There’s one area that’s covered with a bandage, and underneath the gauze, I can feel what I think are stitches. I must have really hit my head hard.