He scoffed, then fake-smiled at someone passing by. The smile slipped as soon as he looked back at me.
“She made a mistake, Nadia. You should know a thing or two about that. It’s time to forgive. I told her about Adrian, too. She calls twice a day to check up on you. She loves you, and she’s worried. Give her a chance to prove it!”
Karen rounded one of the large pillars that held the ceiling in the vast space. Tears danced in her eyes, a look of utter helplessness on her face. I didn’t want it to affect me, but it would be a lie if I said it didn’t. Nick had a point—she was my mother. Deep down I understood that Dad’s heart attack wasn’t her fault. He had a stressful job and underlying heart problems. When he passed away, Karen became an outlet for my anger and sense of injustice. I projected the negative emotions onto her, letting the hatred deepen over the years.
Nick was right about something else, too. I knew a thing or two about making mistakes and yearning for forgiveness.
Karen’s mistake was incomparable to mine. She slept with Nick’s friend during my eighteenth birthday party. She didn’t do it out of love or spite—neither were good enough reasons, but they were at least plausible reasons to cheat on her husband. It was a moment of weakness with catastrophic consequences. Her mistake started a chain of events that were the root of all my issues.
If she hadn’t cheated on Dad, adding more stress to his life, maybe he would still be alive. If he was, I wouldn’t have moved to New York to avoid looking at Nick—Dad’s carbon copy. I would have never met Adrian, and…
We’re dealing with the past here. There’s no changing it; and channelling your efforts into producing hundreds of scenarios as to how things would’ve played out if you changed one detail is a waste of time.
James’s words echoed in my head.
The past couldn’t be controlled. Wishing for a do-over was a waste of time. Instead of focusing on what couldn’t be recovered, I should have been focusing on making sure the past wouldn’t ruin my future.
Karen came closer, clutching a small handbag with both hands, looking out of place.
“Hey, sweetie,” she said, uncertain of how to act, but determined to look me in the eyes. “Thank you for letting me stay. The art… Its breath-taking. I’m proud of you, Nadia.”
Thomas squeezed my hand tighter but remained quiet, saving me by leaving me in control.
“Thank you. Are you staying with Nick?”
Her eyes glistened, and she nodded, glancing at my brother. “Just for a couple of days. I’m leaving on Monday.”
“Can we all go out for lunch tomorrow?” I asked Nick.
My first thought was to ask Karen out to a coffee shop, but it was too soon for mother-daughter bonding time. Nick, Mel and Thomas would make the experience less awkward, filling the silence that was bound to ring in our ears more than once.
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll book us a table somewhere nice.”
Amelia smiled, taking the reins. “We should wrap this up. It’s almost ten o’clock, anyway. Do you want us to help or can we go back home?”
“You can go,” Thomas said, speaking for the first time in fifteen minutes. “I’ll take care of the paperwork.”
“First, I need to talk to you about something,” Nick told him, and pecked my cheek. “I’ll give him right back, promise.”
I shooed them away, glancing at the walls, smiling wider and wider with each red dot stuck on the wall next to my painting. I had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
Thomas came back moments later and ignoring the few people that remained in the room, he cupped my face, devouring my mouth. Intimate kisses that weren’t part of foreplay were my favourites. The stroke of his fingers on my cheek; his tongue teasing my bottom lip; the way he deepened the kiss slowly, as if he had all the time in the world…
Best. Kisses. Ever.
“I’ve never been prouder of you,” he said, pulling away. “I think it was the right thing to do for you and for Karen.”
“Nick has a point,” I admitted. “It doesn’t mean she’s forgiven, but I’ll give her a chance to work for it.”
“One step at a time, baby doll.”
Soon, the booth staff closed the door behind the last person, and after a lot of business jargon between them and Thomas, we walked outside where the rain was pouring for the millionth time that day.
CHAPTER 25
THOMAS
Play God