I fisted my hair, backing away from Nadia not trusting myself to keep the anger inside. The unscathed mirror looked too tempting, and I already imagined my fist breaking it to pieces.
“Nothing?! This isnothing?!What the fuck did he do to you?! Those are larger than my hands!”
Nadia opened her mouth to speak, but I couldn’t take any more excuses on Adrian’s behalf. There was nothing that guy could do to make her hate him. I turned around and almost flew down the stairs. Nick was in the hallway, on his way to check why I screamed at his sister.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Apparently nothing is fucking wrong.”
He frowned when I grabbed my jacket and left, slamming the door.
I needed air. I needed space. I needed Adrian in front of me so I could knock his teeth out and break as many bones as my fists could manage.
CHAPTER 15
NADIA
Mask
A two-hour session with James wasn’t enough on Wednesday after Thomas stormed out of the house.
The sudden outburst was no surprise. It was easier for people to process abuse if they had no tangible proof. Bruises were tangible—a visual reminder of Adrian’s barbarity.
Two hours weren’t enough on Thursday or Friday, either, while I waited for Thomas to come back.
He didn’t.
Disappointment gnawed at me day and night. Still, I sought the positives, adamant that he was better off without me. The list of my issues wasn’t getting shorter; pills were merely taking the edge off; and sometimes I wasn’t sure if I would ever find a lighter to light up the pitch-black tunnel.
Thomas had issues of his own. He spent years overcoming blame. I refused to ruin his chance at happiness just because I struggled to find mine, even though it hurt more than all the bruises put together. Physical pain had nothing on a bleeding heart.
Insomnia deepened as if my body rebelled against resting unless Thomas was with me, but I pushed through by swallowed pills, and I searched for that damn lighter.
I stormed out of James’s office, lighting a cigarette, marching toward the carpark where I left my new, shiny car. Christmas was just around the corner with five days left, and the shopping fever spread across London. Hundreds of people rushed around the streets carrying more than fit in their hands. Every year, Christmas came on the same date, yet people were panic buying at the last minute as if it caught them off guard.
Instead of heading back to the empty cottage, I decided to join the frenzy and spent the afternoon shopping. With a coffee in hand, I strolled around shops for three hours before I was interrupted by my brother.
“Hey, we’re hosting a little impromptu party at C&G tonight.”
“Please don’t invite me,” I said, eyeing a pair of beige boots in the shop window.
Nick chuckled. “I’m not asking you to come, sis.”
Thank God.
“I’m telling you to. Consider this a heads up. You’ve got time to go shopping or grab a dress from your apartment. I’ll see you later.”
“I am shopping, but don’t count me in. You have fun, though.”
I wouldn’t mind spending time away from the cottage or James’s office now that my face was back to normal and hiding under a large hoodie was unnecessary, but attending the party meant seeing Thomas with Chrissy.
“Yes, you are. We’re leaving at six.”
He cut the call not letting me protest.
Six o’clock came and went while I shopped and ate too many custard-filled doughnuts. No one could convince me to watch the guy I loved kiss another girl. Still, sometime after seven o’clock it was time to head back home. I backed out of the parking space and joined the traffic, singing along toNo Planby Hozier.
I pulled onto the driveway and rested my head on the steering wheel. Five cars were parked outside the cottage apart from Nick’s and Mel’s. Thomas’s BMW was there, and so was Scorpio’s Mercedes. It looked like Nick decided to change the venue and hosted the party at home.