Konstantin cups my face. “But ... what if..”
Our eyes meet and I see his slight smile. That’s enough for me. I kiss him softly at first. Our lips mold together as I brace myself on his massive chest. His big hand slides over my cheek, down my neck, his fingers cupping the nape of my neck.
He renews the kiss, parting my lips with his. Something in me curls tightly and I tremble with need. It’s like my first kiss all over again, but so much better. I gently stroke his bottom lip with my tongue, then dive deeper, desperate to explore.
Konstantin moans with me as our tongues tangle and tease. He pulls me closer, wrapping me up in his arms as I explore his shoulders and chest, trying to touch anywhere I can reach. I swear, my body sings as he draws out the kiss, feasting on me like I’m his last meal on death row.
Moaning, I dig my nails into his shoulder and start another kiss, then another, and another. Konstantin lets me have control, lets me take the lead and it’s so fucking intense that I can’t find a trace of control or restraint in my head. I just want him. I want to hold onto the way he smells – lightly spicy, but something delicate and delicious all at once. I want to keep his massive hands on my body, spreading warmth everywhere he touches me. I want him here with me, giving me everything, following through on every fantasy.
He nods into another kiss, taking advantage of my pause to show me what he wants. His hands slide down to my ass and he jerks me against him, so I can feel exactly how hard and big he is. I groan and wrap both arms around his neck.
We kiss until my hips roll on his and I start pulling at his silly suspenders. Kon catches my hands and holds them behind my back gently. We stare at one another as we pant. His face is flushed, his eyes all dilated and wary, his lips stained with my lipstick.
I swallow and nod. “Just a taste tonight.”
“That was more than one.”
“Compared to what I want to do to you, Konstantin, it’s nothing at all.” I flirt shamelessly.
He takes a slow breath through his nose as his eyes sharpen. “You’re some kind of siren, Juliana.”
I pull my hands free of his grasp and hug him. I close my eyes and breathe him in. “Thank you for letting me run away, for coming up with me, for respecting me.”
He tenses a moment before wrapping himself around me. “That’s the bare minimum.”
“Not in my eyes. So I’m going to give you a secret.”
“That’s not necessary. I’m not asking for-”
“I wanted you to be my first real kiss,” I whisper against his chest. “I mean, I’d had a few kisses – the closed mouth kind – before I met you. But from sixteen until the day I turned eighteen, you were the only man I wanted. I was so sure as soon as I was legal, I’d get to have you, but then you were gone.”
His arms drop from around me. “I’m still twelve years older than you, Juliana.”
“Yeah, but I’m not a naïve little girl now.” I sigh as I untangle myself from him. I stand, adjust my ponytail, then curl it around my fingers. “I know that a kiss doesn’t make a happily ever after. I know that the kind of life I have is built on pretenses and prioritizing needs over wants.”
He nods slowly.
“Because that’s how we stay alive. Keeping everything we want and love hidden.”
“Isn’t that the world you’re going to burn down?” He asks as he carefully drags a pillow over his lap.
I tug on the pillow and throw it across the room, exposing his very obvious hard-on. I smile and stroke up his thigh. “I think I might enjoy hiding you up here with me for a bit. Maybe you can convince me there’s another way.”
He clears his throat.
“You don’t need the pillow. I already felt you between my legs, Kon.” I kiss his cheek anyway. “But you still have five minutes to calm that down before you have to leave ... if you still want to.”
He eyes me hungrily. Konstantin takes a slow breath and looks at his shoes and coat. “I need to go.”
“Oh? A hot date that you’re missing for me? Hopefully, she doesn’t mind the lipstick all over your face.”
He rushes to the bathroom and takes care of that. When he comes back, I notice he’s missed some on his neck, so I take care of that gently, hiding the hurt at him potentially having someone else to go to. I didn’t even ask. I just assumed he was single. Silly me.
“I have to go, Juliana.”
“You said that already.” I remind him.
He catches my hand and forces me to meet his eyes, so intense, so hungry, and wild that I think I actually moan just looking at him. He jerks me against him. “I have to leave because I don’t want to.”