Millie responds by lightly hitting him on the back of his head as she walks past him and takes the plate I hand to her. “Life’s not fair, get used to it,” she says before taking a bite of some bacon.
“So,” Jude takes a sip of his juice before continuing, “what kind of grand gesture were you thinking?”
“Well, that’s why I need your help,” I reply. “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t want it to be cheesy or clichéd. But at the same time, I want to make a statement and show him my feelings are genuine. Plus, I need him to know I’m sorry for bringing Adam into our lives. While I knew nothing of Adam’s scheming, Kyler still believes if it wasn’t for me, the Nelsons would never have found Lacey.”
“Here’s the thing, T,” Jude points his fork at me, as he contemplates his next words. “Ky’s grown up without anyone actually showing him they care for him. His dad left when he was young and sure, he has his mom and his sister, but they depend on him. They only show affection for him when they want something. He’s gone through life being distrustful of everyone.”
“So, you need to show him not everyone is like that. Not everywomanclose to him uses him,” Millie chips in.
“I get that,” I tell them, “and, I know it takes a lot for him to trust people. And I know I’ve got to show him he can trust me again and how I feel about him.”
“I think you do need to go down the cheesy, clichéd route.” Nolan holds up his hands to stop everyone from butting in. “No, hear me out. Jude’s just said Kyler’s never been shown true affection. So,showhim. Do all the grand gestures. Spoil him. Romance him. Show him how you feel about him. Leave him notes of affection. Do a ‘Love Actually’ and tell him how you feel on huge cards and then show him those in front of everybody. Show him that he’s worthy of love. And show him he’s worthy ofyourlove and in return, he’ll trust you.That’swhat he needs.That’show you’ll get him back.”
“That’s . . . actually not a bad idea,” Millie says, with a hint of dismay in her voice.
“Your constant ability to not give me credit for knowing how to be romantic wounds me, Millicent.” Millie flips the bird at him as her reply.
“I think Nole’s on to something.” Devon says, “and I think there’s a perfect opportunity coming up to grand-gesture Kyler so hard he’ll have no choice but to take you back.”
“What are you thinking?” Jude asks him.
“This weekend. It’s the National Championship game against Augsburg. It’ll be packed and so everyone will witness you winning him back. It will be a grand gesture as you’ll be showing him, he’s loved in front of an arena of people. I mean, you’ve seen proposals at those big sporting events. They are always a big hit.”
“This only gives me a few days to get everything ready. How can we be sure he’ll stick around long enough to see me?” I ask, nerves taking a hold of me.
“You leave that to us,” Jude tells me. “I’ll speak to Coach, and we’ll figure something out.”
“And we,” Nolan gestures to himself and Devon, “can help you get everything set up.”
“And I,” Millie rounds up the volunteering for their various roles in our masterplan, “will help you get the supplies you need to make this the best damn grand-gesture-apology-of-all-apologies. Girl, we got you.”
And just like that, Operation Win Kyler Back is in full force.
Thirty
Kyler
This isthe day I’ve waited for all year, a chance to win the National Championship in Division III hockey. To say a win will open doors is an understatement. Every time NU is present in the final game, it proves how much of a hockey powerhouse we are. It shows potential teammates we are here to compete, and we do so every year. But this stage is different. Scouts from every NHL program will be in attendance, taking notes and videos of what we do on the ice—of what I do on the ice. An offer to join a team could come as early as tomorrow, or I could decide to enter the draft officially. Either way, a win changes things for everyone involved. Sure, we will raise a conference banner for the fifteenth time when the season starts back up in the fall, but it’s the coveted championship banner we want. It’s what we worked our asses off for all season. The bumps, bruises, and exhaustion all lead up to this.
I’m the first one on the side for the skate around. I need this time to focus, to imagine the game in my head, to picture a shootout with just me and the goalie. I can see it all playing out. I fake left, he goes right, but I take the shot and hit the left corner of the net. The light behind the goalie turns red, and he hangs his head, knowing the game is over. Within seconds, my teammates are next to me. Gloves tossed in the air and sticks forgotten.
Only, I don’t want it to happen this way. While I welcome the challenge of overtime and a shootout, I want a seamless game. I want goals. I like the score padded so the other team can’t catch up. I don’t want to look at the scoreboard with three minutes left and see we’re tied. It’s an uneasy feeling, and I hate the pressure. Coaches and teammates can say there isn’t any pressure, but that’s not the case. I bear the weight of winning on my shoulders. It comes with being one of the best centers in the divisions. The expectation of me is to score and score often.
The sound of my blades cutting through the ice calms me. Watching shards of ice spray against the board when I stop excites me. I need these emotions right now because my heart is heavy. I stupidly fell for Thea, to the point where the wordsI love youalmost came out of my mouth. So many times, I wanted to tell her, but am now thankful I held back. Saying those words to her, and having everything happen, would’ve destroyed me even further because they would’ve meant nothing to her. They’re words she’s heard repeatedly from Adam Nelson.
I shudder at his name popping into my head. How can Jude and Thea even associate with people like the Nelsons? Let alone my sister. Since the revelation of Lacey being a Nelson, I’ve had a hard time believing someone as sweet as her can be half of that demented family. Although, I suppose they’re not all demented. Mrs. Nelson seems to be the only nice one, although I have a hard time believing she had no idea what her piece-of-shit husband was up to. Maybe this is how things work in their family—secrecy. When—if—I ever get married, I don’t want to be someone who hides things from my wife.
Speaking of Mrs. Nelson, she will be in attendance at tonight’s game, having made the trip to New York to watch us play. When she asked for a ticket, my first inclination was to say no, but it’s hard to deny someone who has stepped up for Lacey and my sister. Mrs. Nelson has made good on her word, and next month Ally, Lacey, and my mom move into a three-bedroom house. It has a fenced yard, is across from a park, and is within walking distance of Lacey’s school. Ally also has a brand-new car, and Mrs. Nelson has found my mom a stable job. She’s also encouraged me to cash the check from her son. I haven’t yet because I’m afraid of the ramifications. I don’t need someone to tell me to stay away from Thea. I can do that on my own. I fear Adam will see this as owning me, and no one owns me.
Jude skates onto the ice and nods at me. There’s been a strain on our relationship since everything went down. I know he blames me for his sister’s tears. I get it because her heart is broken, and I’m partly to blame for it, but so is mine. Does he blame her too, or am I the only one at fault? Jude doesn’t understand the situation. He doesn’t know what it is like to struggle, to have everything ripped away from you, or have a mother who can’t function like an average person. Jude and Thea come from a loving two-parent home, where they always had food on the table, a roof over their heads, and didn’t have to depend on anyone to survive. When I found out Thea trusted Adam, even for a second, it killed me and destroyed any amount of trust I had built with her. One moment and Thea allowed Adam to rip my family apart—a family I do everything I can to protect.
Jude does a couple of laps on the ice and then heads toward me. On the ice, we’re good. We’re strong teammates and have the same goal in common—to win. At home, I stay in my bedroom for the most part and avoid house dinners altogether. I know I don’t have to, but it’s easier than being near Thea. Jude pushes his helmet up and starts to say something when the sound of pucks hitting the ice gets our attention. I glance over my shoulder and see the rest of our teammates are coming out of the locker room. Our chat, or whatever we were about to have, will have to wait. We have a game to play.
The horn sounds, and the second period ends. I check the scoreboard and smile at our two-shot lead. After forty minutes of play, Jude hasn’t allowed a single goal, and that’s something to be celebrated. When we get to the locker room, we’re loud and boisterous. Everyone pumps each other up. We can taste the victory. Only twenty minutes left, and we’ll raise the NCAA National Championship Trophy.
In twenty minutes a lot can happen.
Coach tells us to sit, and he starts drawing on the whiteboard. He sketches the plays we know by heart, reminding us of where we need to be on the attack. He jabs the marker into the board for emphasis, each blue dot driving home the fact we’re so close to securing the title. Coach tries to hide his excitement, but it’s there, bubbling underneath the blazer he wears.