I shrug half-heartedly, unable to work myself up any more than that. “Nothing has really changed. I just realized that this place is a waste of everyone’s time.”
Warden Black steps forward and surprises me by grabbing onto my shoulders. “Knock this crap off, Amber. If this is about your sister’s pack, then you need to realize that they are only bothering you because they are mourning. They don’t see you as I do. You deserve everything life has to offer as long as you’re willing to work for it and try. I know this has been an adjustment, especially because you had no idea that you were an alpha, but you will do great things. You can’t write yourself off. Don’t you dare think that I will either.”
I open my mouth to speak, but Warden steamrolls over me.
“Do you really think that ditching a couple classes and not doing the schoolwork is going to fail you out of here? No. The only one who decides that is me. Do you understand?”
Tears burn my eyes. “I don’t. I don’t understand why you care so much about me.”
Warden Black sighs. “Because you’re a female alpha, and I have spent my entire life fighting against society’s expectations of us. We’re just as capable as anyone, even more so, and I want you to see that. That’s why I care. Because I know you will bring so much to the world. I’ve already seen it here on campus. The way you’ve already gotten some of the worst alphas in line amazes me. I want you to succeed not only for yourself, but for every female alpha.”
My mouth trembles with her words, and I swipe my hands over my cheeks. “But what if I let you down? What if I let everyone down?”
Warden Black holds me close, wrapping me in her arms as Theoden watches us in silence without interfering.
“The only way you will let me down is if you give up. You need to realize that what happened was a tragedy, but that tragedy does not define you. Okay?” Warden Black eases away and cups my cheeks. She surprises me with another hug. “Now go back to your dorm, wash your face, take a couple minutes to get yourself together, and head back to class.”
I swallow and nod. “Yes, ma’am.”
I don’t wait to see if she’ll excuse Theoden, wasting no time in following her orders. I can’t believe this woman that I haven’t known for long cares enough about me to call out my fuckups. She’s giving me another chance.
I’ve been so caught up in my self-loathing and the heat I felt from Jade’s pack that I didn’t see that I was sabotaging myself. Because I do care. I do want a future. I want to make our fledgling pack official.
And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
No matter what, I will succeed.
THEODEN
“Brother, should I be worried about you? I know how fond of Amber you are, but you might be a little too distracted lately. You let your entire class go early. That is very unlike you.” Lace stands a few feet away, giving me space.
I wish she didn’t hang around so I could follow Amber back to her dorm room. I’m not only caught on a high of passion from her pleasuring me, but I feel as if she needs me now more than ever.
“I’m sorry. I just…” I shut my mouth, swallowing. Maybe Lace is right. She should be worried about me. I don’t know if I could properly do my job if I’m focused on Amber. It also doesn’t help that without me taking any suppressants or using the lotions, my heat will come. And soon.
“I think I need some time off,” I blurt, rubbing my fingers through my hair. “I’m sure you’ve been suspecting it for a while, but there’s something about her. About Amber.”
Lace remains expressionless, but I wish she wouldn’t. She’s always been good at hiding her emotions, and right now, I want to know what’s on her mind. “She’s why you haven’t taken your suppressants.”
“I think I’m falling in love with her. I know it’s fucked up. I know she’s a student of mine. But that’s the excuse for my recent behavior.” I scrub my cheeks with my hands, then pull back my shirt collar to reveal the bite Amber gave when she claimed me.
Lace closes the space to me and engulfs me in a hug, the first one she has given me in a while. She might be my sister, but she’s always been hardened. We always had a bit of jealousy between each other, because she manifested into the alpha I thought I would be, and I became an omega. Funny how life did that to us, but Lace is a far better alpha than I think I could’ve ever been.
“I suspected as much, and I appreciate you coming forward with that. I think it is in everyone’s best interest that you do take a leave of absence. Not just because of this line you’ve crossed, but because I think Amber could really use you as her omega, and not just as a teacher.” Lace eases away, finally breaking her stone expression. She offers me a smile. “I love you, brother. I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. I’m happy with her. I just… I need her to see that she can find happiness too. I need to be there for her in whatever way she needs me.” I rub my lips together and turn my gaze to the floor. “I’ve never felt so strongly about anything in my life.”
“Then I will make it official. You can continue staying on campus in the family units. I think it would be beneficial for Amber if she can see that life isn’t out to get her. It’ll be good for Gabe and Beau too. They’ve already come so far. They will make a great pack for you, Theo,” Lace says.
I hug my sister again. She’s never been more right.
nineteen
AMBER
“Shit, we have access to the Internet here? Do you know what kind of bank we could make?” Beau grins from the doorway of Theoden’s apartment in the small building intended for the staff and their family.
Family.