“We needed to know you still wanted us, or that you wanted us again,” Miles volunteers. Although he speaks to Ben, his eyes find mine. A silent question passes between us.Do you still want me after all that happened?What Miles doesn’t realize is that I’m asking the same thing of him. He was so upset when I shared my secret around that afternoon campfire, and even though he’s making great strides to set things right now, that reaction still came from somewhere. He may have accepted me again on the surface, but how is he feeling deep down? I break our gaze, unable to stand the pressure. At least not now while so much else still needs to happen, needs to be resolved.
Archer picks up the conversation for the group. “We needed time to see things straight, and we thought maybe you did too.”
“What if we never came looking for you? Then what? You’d just keep that you found Violet’s daughter a secret?” Ben is the only one showing any notable agitation. He hasn’t been quick to anger in the past, but he’s gone full-on guard dog when it comes to looking after me, even with his pack brothers.
Archer shakes his head. “No, we’d have made sure she knew one way or another. We were just hoping with a little time, we wouldn’t have to come up with alternate plans.” He pauses here for emphasis. “And we were right.”
“I’m still angry with you.” Ben crosses his arms over his chest, and Archer mirrors the movement.
“I still think you’re an asshole whose silence almost cost me my life, but who’s keeping track?”
“I’m a beta,” Noah blurts out, turning all heads toward him.
Archer drops his arms and bobs his head. “Cool.”
“Really? You’re not going to say anything about that?” Ben demands.
I glance toward Miles and find him already staring back at me. The others are working out their issues. Does that mean we’re next?
“I’m not going to do anything else that will break our pack apart.” Archer sighs as if his motivations should be above questioning. “Noah’s a part of our pack, whether he’s alpha, beta, delta, omicron. I’m done caring about the little things, not when they cost us the big things.”
“I went to see Bokerah in prison,” I blurt out now, just so everything’s on the table, especially while the majority of the pack seems to be so receptive to each other.
“Cool,” Archer says again with a sharp nod.
“I don’t think she’s going to be a problem when she gets out. I did offer to set her up with some money though.”
Archer tenses beside me, then lets out a slow breath. “Cool. Yeah, she’s going to need it.”
I scoff at him. “Is this the new Archer? Are you never going to have an opinion on anything ever again? Part of why I love you is your passion, how hard you fight for what you want.”
He freezes, then turns his head slowly to face me. His expression is both blissful and bewildered. “You… love me?”
“Of course I love you. Now please go back to being the charming asshole I fell for in the first place?” I tilt my face up and lean into him, eager for the kiss I know will follow. And when he claims my mouth with his, it’s as if no time has passed at all.
This is right. This was always right.
“It was all Miles, you know,” Archer whispers, his lips still softly brushing against mine. I can hear him but the others cannot. “This was his idea, his plan. He’s sorry as hell for how he acted that day.”
“I need time,” I whisper back. It’s the best I can do now. I want us all to be a pack again, and I appreciate Miles’s grand gesture of finding my daughter. That’s huge and so, so special to me, but his angry words are still freshly carved on my heart. He gave a voice to all my fears, all the worst things I already thought about myself—and it was the voice of someone I had already begun to love. Of all the guys, Miles was the last one I expected to hurt me so deeply.
If Archer and Ben can put their differences aside for the benefit of the group, I know I can do the same with Miles. Time heals all wounds—or at least that’s what I’m counting on.
Once we make it to San Jose, we hire a yellow taxi to take us to the address Pack Fernando shared with Miles and Archer. It’s a tight fit, but the drive is short and most of us don’t mind getting close. Miles dutifully takes the front passenger seat to help navigate, but I know he’s also giving me the space I need.
Our driver weaves through a sprawling neighborhood packed with adobe-style houses of all sizes and shapes. After several turns, he pulls to a stop in front of a squat ranch with a double garage and peaked roof. Uneven cement steps lead up the long front yard, swatches of freshly cut grass flanking them on either side. The house is small, but likely cost just as much as Pack Muldoon’s massive home in Anchorage. Such is the way of the real estate market in California.
“Well?” Archer prompts after we’ve sat idling at the curb for a few minutes. “What would you like to do?”
I know implicitly that whatever I say goes. If I want the guys to sneak in and kidnap my daughter after dark, they’ll do it. And I’ll confess a part of me is tempted.
But no.
I’m going to play this the exact same way I approached my visit with Bokerah at that prison. “I think I’d like to go up and knock, introduce myself, and say hello.”
“Do you want us to come too?” Noah asks, rubbing his hand over my shoulder.
Do I want them to come with me? It’s a fair question, and one I probably should have thought about before now. This is a big moment for me, and they are my pack. I feel better with them at my side, stronger. But I have no idea what will happen when I walk up to that door. I have no idea how I’ll be welcomed, or whether I’ll be welcomed at all. It’s my first chance to meet my daughter, and I don’t want to be focused on anything else. For so long I’ve carried this secret all on my own. It’s woven itself into my DNA, become a part of me.