“Hmm.” She writes something down, a look on her face as if she doesn’t believe my rehearsed bullshit. It always fooled her before, but I was more in control then.
“What?”
She draws in a deep breath. “I just think you seem different.”
“Well, it’s been a few years since I last saw you.”
“Yes, but I sense that the darkness we used to discuss is greater than it’s ever been.”
I clench my jaw together. “Perhaps I am the embodiment of darkness.”
“What do you mean by that?”
For a while now, I’ve realized that I can’t control it because all I’m doing is suppressing a part of myself.
“The darkness is a part of me, so I’m not trying to control it.”
Jane nods. “Indeed, you shouldn’t try to repress a part of you. It will only fight back harder.”
“Yes, but I don’t feel that I’m at any risk of a breakdown.” I narrow my eyes. “In fact, I’ve never felt further from one before in my life.” That, oddly enough, is the truth, even if I’ve felt off balance lately.
Jane writes down. “Tell me what you think changed.”
“This is confidential, right?”
“Of course, I can’t disclose anything we discuss with anyone, even Oak.”
I am skeptical about that. “I met someone. Someone who accepts every part of me.” I swallow hard. “Someone that compliments me in a way I never believed possible.”
“That’s great news.” She jots down some more notes. “And are you in a committed relationship with this person?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not serious.”
“But you just said—”
“Yes, but I don’t do serious.” I shuffle in my seat. “We are keeping it casual, as I don’t want feelings to be involved.”
Her brow hitches. “So when you say she compliments you, you mean sexually?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
Frantically, she scribbles more notes down and it drives me crazy. “Do you have to write constantly?”
“It’s the only way I can make a dossier and follow your progress.”
I grunt. “I’m only here because Oak made me come. There’s no way I need therapy.”
Her lips purse. “Well, if you ask me, it sounds like you really need therapy.”
“What the fuck for?”
“Commitment issues.”
I grind my teeth together. “I don’t have commitment issues. I’m just not a relationship kind of guy.”
“And yet you tell me you’ve met someone who accepts you in a way you never believed possible.” She stares at me as if waiting for me to confirm it, but I’ve already fucking told her that.
“Your point?”