I laugh. “Camilla, don’t be crazy.”
“He blackmailed you into having sex with him. His head should be on a spike.”
She’s right that it’s not something I can just brush under the carpet, but now I’m torn.
Her eyes narrow. “Is that why you were late for dinner?” She tilts her head. “You were with Elias.”
I shake my head. “Not at first. I was in the library actually studying when he appeared and then…” I trail off, heat spreading through my veins faster than lava following beneath the earth’s core.
“Fuck, what is wrong with you?”
I straighten at that, narrowing my eyes at Camilla. Out of all my friends, she’s the one I least expected to judge me for this, and yet she’s sitting across from me scowling like I’ve told her I just murdered someone and buried their body in the old ruins.
“There’s no need to be so judgemental,” I say, glaring at her. “I can’t help that I enjoy his attention.”
“The attention of a boy who stabbed you in ninth grade because you were a teacher’s pet.” She shakes her head. “It’s not right, Natalya. You can’t just let him use you like that.”
I swallow hard, hating hearing my doubts and fears about what the hell the two of us are doing recounted to me by someone else.
He wants to make amends, but can anyone really make amends for that kind of terrible behavior?
Especially since it went on for so long.
I sigh heavily. “It’s complicated,” I murmur, dipping my spoon into the pasta sauce and eating some, despite not having any appetite right now.
“I don’t mean to attack you, Nat.” Camilla shakes her head. “I’m just worried about you, is all.”
I nod and meet her gaze, which has softened now. “I know. I’ve been thinking the same thing as you, but Elias seems determined to make amends.”
Camilla’s brow pulls together. “Another one of his tricks?”
I shrug, as I honestly don’t know what he’s playing at.
He can’t truly believe there’s any viable future for us, which means he probably just wants to use me, as Camilla suggests.
It hurts to think about it, but I know it’s the most likely scenario.
The sex may be good, but is it worth giving up my sanity for?
“Will you tell the others?” Camilla asks.
I swallow hard, knowing that there’s no avoiding it now. Adrianna and Eva deserve to know. I just wish I didn’t have to tell them.
“Sure, I’ll call a meeting in my room for one hour’s time.” I set my spoon down on the side of my tray. “Hopefully Eva will be able to tear herself off of Principal Byrne.”
Camilla chuckles. “I still can’t believe she’s fucking that God of a man.”
I shake my head and pull out my cell phone, sending a text to our group chat on WhatsApp.
Meet in my room, one hour’s time. It’s important.
Camilla looks at the text and nods. “I know it’s hard, but keeping secrets from us doesn’t make sense,” she says, tucking her phone back into her pocket. “We’re your best friends and we’ll help you with this whatever way we can.”
I smile, but it feels forced. “Thanks.” I stand with my tray. “See you in an hour?”
Camilla nods as I walk away, knowing I need this hour alone to gather my muddled thoughts. Before I reveal that Elias and I have been sleeping together, and a part of me doesn’t want to stop. No matter how crazy that may seem to my friends.
* * *