ELIAS
Iwalk down the corridor, scanning it for any sign of Natalya. When she asked me why I hated her so much, it took me aback. What surprised me the most was that I answered her with the truth.
No one else outside my family knows about the way my mother died, but she asked me and it was like a floodgate had opened. Now an unanswered question lies between us, one I’ve left for five days since our hunt in the woods.
Does Natalya want me to stop?
I want to know what she was going to say, but she seemed almost relieved to be saved from answering by the deer and fawn appearing.
It’s excruciating trying to keep my distance from her, unsure how to act around her now the truth is out. The fact is, I never really hated her, but I took my rage out on her; A mistake that I fear is going to come back to bite me in the ass.
Because the fact is, I don’t want to stop what has been happening between us since the start of this year.
Eva was right. I like Natalya. It just took me too long to see through the red haze of rage that lingered after my mother’s murder.
“Fuck’s sake,” I murmur under my breath, when I don’t see any sign of Natalya.
Camilla and Adrianna are just heading into the cafeteria, so I follow them to check I’m not too late and she’s already in there.
She’s not.
Where the fuck is she?
The only place she possibly could be right now is either in detention, which is unlikely since she rarely gets into trouble, or the library. I opt for the library and head toward the back exit into the courtyard.
It’s already dark as I walk across it and open the door to the old building, which is practically deserted.
Mrs. Kendall is asleep behind the front desk with her mouth open wide, as if she’s trying to catch flies.
Lucky for her, there’s not many around at this time of the year.
I head through the quiet corridors of the library, searching for any sign of Natalya. She’s not sitting at her usual table in the corner downstairs, so I head upstairs to check that level. Once I make it to the top of the stairs, I freeze when I see her on her tiptoes, trying to grab a book.
A part of me thought I might not find her in here. I can’t work out if I wanted to find her or not, which seems a little silly considering I’m searching for her.
“Natalya,” I say her name and she practically jumps a mile.
“Elias,” she says, spinning around to face me. Her cheeks are a beautiful pink hue as she tilts her head. “What are you doing here?”
I move toward her, closing the gap between us. “Looking for you.”
She twists her fingers together in front of her, glancing at me through her thick, dark lashes. “Oh, what do you want?”
I grab her hand and yank her against me, causing her to gasp. “You,” I murmur.
Any moment I’m alone with her, I can’t help myself. The need to touch her is overwhelming and all-consuming.
It has worsened since I realized my hatred for her had always been unfounded.
“I thought perhaps you’d stopped with all that.” Her teeth sink into her bottom lip.
I tilt my head. “Why stop something that feels so good?”
Nat searches my eyes. “Are you saying you are still blackmailing me?”
I clench my jaw, as this isn’t how I expected our conversation to go. “Not exactly. I know you enjoy fucking me. Why stop?”
“Because I was sleeping with you to protect my family.”