“Sophia,” he says, voice cautious. “You came.”
I put my hands in my pockets. “Yes.”
“Thank you.”
I nod again. We start walking north, falling into comfortable step with one another.
“I saw that your company signed the contract,” I say. “Winter Corp and Exciteur are officially in business together now.”
“Yes,” he says. “What I said earlier stands. Andrew will run point on the project from our end, and will be your only source of contract.”
“Thanks,” I say. Funny how that was meant as a backup plan, but we’d needed it immediately.
“Sophia,” he says. “I’m sorry about last weekend.”
“Sorry she was there? Or sorry it happened at all?”
“It wasn’t something I planned on keeping from you forever,” he says. “But I need you to know that I’ve never been unfaithful to anyone. Not once.”
“Congratulations,” I say. My tone sounds acidic and I hate it, I hate this, and I hate the painfully tight knot in my stomach.
“It’s not something I’m proud of, and I wasn’t even when it was happening.”
“Then why did you do it?”
Isaac is quiet for a long time. “It was after Cordelia. She’d cheated, and I was… nihilistic when it came to relationships. It seemed like they didn’t work, not for anyone, but least of all for me. Doing something that confirmed my own belief was… comforting, I think.”
“It was still wrong.”
“Of course it was,” he says. “She’s unhappy with her husband, despite the crass agreement they have, you know. He got a younger wife and she got security and stability, but it’s not a good marriage. Beverly and I? We were just amusing one another. At the time, I suppose I thought it was companionship, too.”
I cross my arms over my chest. The reasonable words falter against the bulwark of my defences.Not again. Never again.“Does her husband know?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I never asked. But Sophia, it’s in the past. I haven’t been with her for almost a year. It’s over, and that part of my life is over.”
I shake my head.Just like Percy,I think. They all are. “Nothing’s ever truly in the past.”
“No, I suppose not,” he says, and there’s a rough note in his voice.
“What does that mean?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I’ll answer any questions you want about it, about myself, about my past relationships.”
“No,” I say. “There’s no need.”
“There isn’t?”
“This isn’t a good idea, anyway. You and me.This.”
“And why not?”
“Because you want a wife, a proper wife, and I can’t be that.”
His voice turns monotone. “What do you mean, a wife?”
“Yes, you want a marriage like… like your parents,” I say. “Like your friends and your family and your entire social group. A marriagejustlike the one Percy wanted us to have, but I couldn’t do it. I’ve tried that and I can’t do it again, I won’t do it again. I won’t give up my job and I—”
Isaac stares at me. “When have we spoken about marriage?”