Christ,listen to me thinking about this like it’s what I actually want.
It’s not. After I lost Sally, I had no desire to attach to someone I might lose again.
I like Gemma, that’s all.
It doesn’t mean we have—or need to have—a future together. I’m just enjoying her company right now.
Chapter Nine
Gemma
When we finish eating, Hayden packs everything up while I play with Hades.
I haven’t had a dog since I was a child and never a big, scary-looking one like this, but despite his menacing appearance, Hades is a sweetheart. He lets me rub his chest, then rolls on his back so I can give him a belly rub. He doesn’t tolerate that for long before he’s sitting up again, looking around the neighborhood like he’s the king who reigns over it.
He’s super cute, and I keep giving him pets and love until Hayden returns, grabbing my hips and tugging me back against him.
My blood warms as my butt connects with his body.
When I straighten, Hayden slides a hand under my shirt and rests it on my bare stomach. He caresses my skin beneath the tank top, making my heart pound and my body still against his. I look at him over my shoulder, my breath catching as he stares back at me with a smoldering glint in his eyes.
“I like this,” he says simply. “Being here with you.”
“I like it, too.”
It feels like a shameful admission. An aching regret because the more I enjoy being around him, the more it’s going to hurt when this is all over, and I can’t be anymore.
Maybe we don’t have many moments left, but we still have today.
God, I want to kiss him.
I want to turn around, wrap my arms around his neck, and press my lips to his. I want him to dominate my mouth like he did the other night, to drive out all my sensible thoughts until my legs are locked around his waist and he’s carrying me in the house to do unspeakably dirty things to me.
Instead, I pull away and straighten my shirt.
He suggests we take Hades for a walk, so we do.
On our way past the Hartley house, no one is around, but on our way back home, Brent is outside with one of his sons. His face registers surprise when he sees us walking by with Hades, but Hayden doesn’t even spare him a glance.
I do. I can’t help it. I look back at him over my shoulder and barely resist the urge to call out, “Hey, neighbor!”
I’m feeling good when we get back to the house. Sweaty, though. It’s a hot summer day, and Hades is panting after our walk, so I decide we should all go inside and drink some cold water.
I rinse out the bowl I gave Hades outside and get him fresh cold water from the compartment on my refrigerator. As I fill it, I smile and tell Hayden that when I was a little girl, I always thought you really made it when you had a refrigerator with an ice and water dispenser.
“Well, I guess you made it, then.”
I’m taken off guard when he peels up the back of my tank top so everything below my bra is bare. He’s dressed casually today in a white T-shirt and charcoal shorts with boat shoes, but I hear a rustling of fabric, and when he moves forward and wraps his arms around my waist, I feel his bare skin pressed to mine.
The contact of his hot skin against my back and the strength of his arms around me make my heart race with excitement. My body is already hot, and he’s making it worse.
He kisses the ball of my shoulder, then takes Hades’ water bowl from my hand. Hehas to put a little distance between us to bend and put it down for him.
I take advantage of the distance and turn around to face him, but as soon as Hades trots over to get a drink, Hayden starts moving toward me.
The counter is behind me, so I have no choice but to back toward my living room unless I want to be instantly trapped.
“What are you doing?” I ask, looking up at him. “I was going to get us a drink of water, too.”